tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post857889421329463306..comments2023-11-02T05:36:29.388-07:00Comments on designer bags and dirty diapers: The Question Of a Third ChildNatalie {Designer Bags and Dirty Diapers}http://www.blogger.com/profile/17353793755653007746noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-74973940835483558922015-02-09T20:23:13.638-08:002015-02-09T20:23:13.638-08:00Natalie - my comment is late because - I was busy ...Natalie - my comment is late because - I was busy having my third baby when you posted this!! I too had the same thoughts you do, I always felt like something was missing. I used to tell my husband I felt like there was a baby out there that was ours that we didn't know, but were meant to. He thought I was crazy ;) My husband only wanted two (I have a boy and a girl just like you, 4 1/2 years apart) but I wasn't sure yet. I must have talked about it too much because he finally said to me "I'm not saying no, but let's wait and in a year we will decide" - well a month later, God decided for us and we found out #3 was on its way. My pregnancy was exhausting with two at home, I frequently told my husband it was a huge mistake! haha.. but I made it and our little boy is here and I wouldn't change it for the world. Yes, it's crazy. My husband works long hours too and I'm with the kids by myself a lot. I need a bigger car, but we squeeze in for now. Today we braved the grocery store, me and 3 kids and I made it! You learn how to laugh a lot more because it's all you can do. It's crazy, but it's wonderful all the same. You will never have a baby and wish you didn't, that's what I kept telling myself. I knew I would fall in love instantly and I did and I'm so thankful for my three kids.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11196006354345453992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-15075030648506686222015-02-03T16:40:49.223-08:002015-02-03T16:40:49.223-08:00Hey Natalie...
I feel like we are friends because ...Hey Natalie...<br />I feel like we are friends because I so enjoy and appreciate your words...and style!!! It seems weird to not have written until now! Thank you, first and foremost, for your thoughtful posts...I really enjoy them..<br />My third baby just turned one. And upon reading this post, I felt like I was reading my own journal from a few years ago. My oldest is 7, middle 5.5 and baby 1. My husband felt the same as yours. But I couldn't shake the sense that someone was missing from our family. My fears mirrored yours.<br />But here is the thing...I asked God to remove that desire if it wasn't meant to be, but instead he shifted my husband to consider giving it a go. And baby boy has been a light in our family. I pinch myself to remind myself I am living life, not a dream...I am so grateful. I was 36 when he was born. My older two are older (which worried me), but that has been a blessing too...<br />The other unexpected gift is that I am so much more relaxed this time around. I have enjoyed this baby more than I did the others (which is hard to believe!) simply because I am not worried!!! That spills over into everyday routine too...the sweetness of a third is that these mommies can hold onto things less tightly :)<br />I will be so eager to hear...I know you will know what the next step is for you all...and either way you can't loose!!<br />Best!!!adventures in the big applehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10527383083923747240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-13719934271799378862015-02-02T19:52:03.817-08:002015-02-02T19:52:03.817-08:00I only have one, but read this blog post. It reson...I only have one, but read this blog post. It resonated with me. http://mychildiloveyou.blogspot.com/2010/02/why-most-families-have-2-children.htmlJordanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13861485215696461698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-26447623989995791072015-02-02T19:52:02.302-08:002015-02-02T19:52:02.302-08:00I only have one, but read this blog post. It reson...I only have one, but read this blog post. It resonated with me. http://mychildiloveyou.blogspot.com/2010/02/why-most-families-have-2-children.htmlJordanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13861485215696461698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-65268900372937611552015-02-02T16:33:53.065-08:002015-02-02T16:33:53.065-08:00I know exactly what you mean in this post. .. and ...I know exactly what you mean in this post. .. and that's why we just had our 3rd baby girl! I simply didn't feel "done" after 2. I felt the same way, wondering how my friends with 2 could be so certain that their families were complete. I always sensed that we would have 3 girls. So, with all that being said, we went for it and I had my 3rd perfectly precious baby girl at the age of 35. Life with 3 is challenging, but its certainly beautiful. I love having a baby...especially now that shes sleeping through the night, and her big sisters (ages 6 and 3) adore her as well. It was definitely God's plan for our family.Mommy, Esq.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09512131848435560634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-18392448277407463162015-02-02T12:31:07.048-08:002015-02-02T12:31:07.048-08:00I so get you. I have two boys, a 3.5 yr old and a ...I so get you. I have two boys, a 3.5 yr old and a 7 month old. I look at my youngest and can't help but feel like I want one more. I am the oldest of 3 but my husband comes from a family of 2. I work full-time and my husband is home all day with the boys. I come home and he goes to work and I'm home all night with the boys. It's works right now but it's been crazy hard. What would happen if we had a third? My husband doesn't want to put me through a third baby. With pre-eclampsia both times and my body struggling to get my blood pressure under control this last time, he thinks having another baby is a bad idea. I just turned 37 and have had two c-sections. I had trouble conceiving my first child too. So many thoughts, emotions, struggles. I just don't know what to think. Maybe we are done. I just don't know.Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16485883152941885935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-81758515477156506562015-02-01T19:38:31.768-08:002015-02-01T19:38:31.768-08:00I was in your exact place almost four years ago. I...I was in your exact place almost four years ago. I couldn't go through sleepless nights again, not traveling, the financial drain etc. <br />It stressed me out so much I went ahead and did it and it was no turning back. I know I'd regret it and you have a small window during your childbearing years.. I couldn't be happier and love a family of five. It's not easy at all but fun and I'm complete. I've had some very hard days and of course logistics are harder. But anything hard is soo worth it..I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant. But soooo happy I got through it, my third is now 3!!! It's just time to celebrate that I made it. I say go for it!!!!!Alexandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06781870110400199799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-73265272365497116472015-02-01T00:11:19.830-08:002015-02-01T00:11:19.830-08:00Oops. That was supposed to say that going from tw...Oops. That was supposed to say that going from two to three was NOT nearly as hard as going from one to two.Kelly Otwellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01835539143974561915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-13733476507699226782015-02-01T00:09:41.398-08:002015-02-01T00:09:41.398-08:00I have three kids, ages 18, 16 and 13. Going from...I have three kids, ages 18, 16 and 13. Going from one to two was a really difficult adjustment for me. I always wanted more and felt like my family wasn't complete with two, but I couldn't ever decide to go ahead with trying for a third. My third pregnancy was a surprise and I have to say, I cried through at least half of it. But she has been the absolute biggest blessing and I can't imagine my life without her. She was just what my family was missing. For me, going from two to three was nearly as hard as going from one to two. Kelly Otwellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01835539143974561915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-45047479702304079502015-01-31T17:27:32.434-08:002015-01-31T17:27:32.434-08:00I read this article a while ago and it pushed me o...I read this article a while ago and it pushed me over into the one more baby territory! Plus when my parents were young my dad wanted one more but my mom didn't, now that we are all grown she really regrets not having at least one more child. I already have two beautiful healthy girls but it feels like my family is not complete!<br /><br />http://www.scarymommy.com/five-reasons-to-have-one-more-baby/Pieceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056822185402642422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-59447724147743656192015-01-31T09:28:47.224-08:002015-01-31T09:28:47.224-08:00First, I love that you are giving a 3rd serious t... First, I love that you are giving a 3rd serious thought and you are thinking of all the right concerns about whether you should have another child. Financial, I think, is the biggest issue. If you can afford it and you are on the fence, you should have another child. But your decision needs to come from the present moment! It is impossible to think or daydream about what it would be like in the future. You know that! Anything life changing can happen at any moment. Please don't think about time to yourself--your a mom now, you know what that is like. You don't work!!!!! You have all day, everyday to take care of your kids, whether it's 2 or 3..not much difference. Plus, don't forget your kids will be in school at some point. In a few short years, you will have time to yourself when they are in school all day!! It's not that hard if you don't work. I am a mother of 5 children and I work part time. If you are honest, it's definitely challenging at times, but all of your time is your own. Think of moms that work full time and have kids. Now that would be overwhelming. Your time is picking out cute clothes, cooking food to eat and photograph, and great lunches with friends. That's a great life but hardly overwhelming! Go for it!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01554321910641904441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-32145889709162209962015-01-31T05:09:24.216-08:002015-01-31T05:09:24.216-08:00I felt the same way minus the miscarriage after my...I felt the same way minus the miscarriage after my second boy. Now, Age 8yrs and 5yrs, we were surprised to be expecting twins in May. Prior to finding out we were pregnant for the 3rd time, I longed for a 3rd. My husband, liked the idea of two and he was set with his boys. I was flying to meet my husband on a business trip and an older women next to me on the plane asked if we were having anymore. I told her my husbands reservation, financial, we'd have to add a bedroom to the house, restaurants are seated for 4 (I hated that excuse) the lady said, "if there is room in the heart, there is room in the home" It always stuck with me. I prayed about it and now got has twice blessed us, which was a total shock. Follow your heart!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15423981480646154270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-78359539005054514732015-01-31T03:19:05.263-08:002015-01-31T03:19:05.263-08:00I have three kids (9,6,2) and I had my third at 37...I have three kids (9,6,2) and I had my third at 37. She is an angel baby;) We always wanted three. My husband is so much help and it makes it very doable. However, I will say that when things go off the tracks (sickness, behavior, etc...) it gets chaotic. I think there is NO way I could do it without my husbands help BC we have no family in town. I think praying and listening to see if you have space and margin both emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially is important bc along w a third life, responsibility, and commitment comes more pressure. Also my kids require much more of me as they are growing and I have to really work to make the emotional space for each of them, as well as for myself and husband. You will know....MandyMandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09703096771180681676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-46947371025309160802015-01-30T22:55:51.802-08:002015-01-30T22:55:51.802-08:00Right there with you! This is the exact conversati...Right there with you! This is the exact conversation I have with myself. I have two boys so I've had to get to a place where I'd want to "try for another boy." I'm fine with that now, it's just the whole being pregnant/taking care of another life that gives me pause. Jennifer @ Belclaire House https://www.blogger.com/profile/09958706492584850321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-83101280831181255162015-01-30T22:28:20.363-08:002015-01-30T22:28:20.363-08:00Hi I am a mother of 3 (who has had 2 miscarriages)...Hi I am a mother of 3 (who has had 2 miscarriages) and there is definitely a feeling that your family is complete. We were done at 2 and then we had a surprise, I will admit that after my third I had a happy complete feeling that I cannot put into words, that I didn't have with my second even though I thought I did. Probably making no sense but we always said 2 and I had no yearning for another. I loved my family of 4, but with my 3rd we all feel she is the missing link. I understand Matt's financial thinking, life these days is catered for a family of 4 but it is worth it. I think you put it best to say it is god's hands.Bodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12799876185723545377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-85905452172698179582015-01-30T20:34:50.408-08:002015-01-30T20:34:50.408-08:00Those 15 comments from kids had me in tears laughi...Those 15 comments from kids had me in tears laughing! OK, I've been a reader for a very long time, but never commented. I just had our 3rd baby 3 months ago at 38 years old. I now always wonder if I could've handled 4. I will say the pregnancy itself almost did me in, (my "big kids" are only about to turn 4 & 2.5) but I don't do pregnancy well. The delivery almost killed me this time around, and for that reason alone, we cannot have any more. Would I do it all over again? Absolutely. If you find yourself questioning having a 3rd child, simply don't close the door on it permanently just yet. You have plenty of time to make that decision. Who knows, in a year or two, your husband may change his mind, or you may become even clearer in your desire to have another. Those sweet babies really are a blessing from God. You seem like you are truly a wonderful mother, so I have no doubt you'd be able to handle 3!Tammyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09976740426397096188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-42304040011272868222015-01-30T19:30:56.581-08:002015-01-30T19:30:56.581-08:00I hear you! We have 2 beautiful boys, and just agr...I hear you! We have 2 beautiful boys, and just agreed to stop preventing pregnancy and see what happens! I too turn 35 in a few months, had a miscarriage between the boys etc. The things that made is decide to try were 1) the wisdom of older parents. The baby/hands on/intense phase is such a short part of your kids lives. They all say you never regret your child and 2) In 10, 15, 20 years I want the full house, the joy, the chaos. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Live today.Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848845455814504696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-18216944484724334752015-01-30T17:39:02.259-08:002015-01-30T17:39:02.259-08:00We thought there was a good number and then got pr...We thought there was a good number and then got pregnant unexpectedly sooner than anticipated - 23 weeks with my third surprise gender baby and we have an almost 4 year old boy and a 2 year old daughter. And I'm getting anxious about this being my last pregnancy - like maybe I want 4! I think mothering and pregnancy is just such a short era in your life and it's normal to feel some sense of uncertainty about when that era should be done. You just have to make the best decision for your family. Financially, 2 is perfect, 3 will be a lot tighter, but we feel like kids are such a blessing that we don't mind buckling the straps. Plus it's already chaos at our house - the more, the merrier Jaimehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174302127161513492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-19867569201254067742015-01-30T17:23:44.222-08:002015-01-30T17:23:44.222-08:00I hear you! I have two girls, 3 & 5, and that ...I hear you! I have two girls, 3 & 5, and that is constantly on my mind!Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14708815786417166620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-20017245399155975552015-01-30T14:54:21.530-08:002015-01-30T14:54:21.530-08:00I totally understand. I always wanted 2, a boy th...I totally understand. I always wanted 2, a boy then a girl a few years later, and luckily that's exactly what I got. I also wanted to be done with kids by age 35 so DH had the V done then, my DD was 2 and my son 6. It was hard work back then I remember and I was SURE I was done. My husband can travel a lot and the thought of taking care of 3 young kids alone often about gave me a panic attack.<br /><br />My husband also only wanted 2,but I'm sure I could talked him into a 3rd and it would have been fine. Honestly I didn't really think about it much at the time because I was so sure I was done. We could have financially handled a third fine, but just the ease of a family of 4 traveling, eating out is nice. <br /><br />I also agree with about all of your points. I worry so much too, worrying during another pregnancy would have been tough. I worried about 'the middle child syndrome' and giving DD the short end of the stick. I'm not sure I could have handled 3 well at all. <br /><br />But since I've been in my 40's I've really regretted not having a third for some reason. And I NEVER thought I would feel that way. Maybe it's a mid life crisis, I don't know. I really never wanted to be pregnant again, I knew that for sure. But I would love to have a 6/7 year old right now and for DD to have a sister. I truly don't think I would have had another back then anyway but sometimes I do wish we had put off the V longer so maybe a 'happy accident' could have happened. ;)<br /><br />In my heart of hearts I know our family is perfect the way it is, have one perfect boy and one perfect girl I tell them. I don't like a lot of noise and another child could have sent me over the edge too. I am a SAHM and it gets so much easier as they get older, mine are 9 and 13 now. I realllly enjoy my days to myself, it's worth all those early years. :)<br /><br />Good luck with your decision, whatever you choose will work out! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13942371564428788565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-46093501321471783372015-01-30T14:41:41.087-08:002015-01-30T14:41:41.087-08:00The 15 comments by kids did indeed made me laugh! ...The 15 comments by kids did indeed made me laugh! But, on a serious note, I can totally relate to all of your yearnings and concerns. Let me first say, I'm no "spring chicken" anymore--I'm soon to be 58. I come from a family of 5, and my aunt and uncle who lived next door to us also had five--each one of me and my siblings had a cousin to hang with, either the same age--my oldest brother and my oldest cousin were born a day apart the same year--or a year older or a year younger. When I was younger, I always wanted to have 5 children, too. When I married, I realized that this would probably not happen, so I decided that I'd be happy with 3. I had my first child at 29--a son and my second child at 31. During my first pregnancy, I developed preeclampsia (I didn't know that because my OB doc didn't tell me this.) In short, I ended up having an emergency C-section because my son was in distress and as was I. But, my Matthew was full term and healthy. So, when I became pregnant for my Natalie, I was carefully monitored and had an uneventful pregnancy. I, too, thought I was done. Then, when she was around 2, my husband brought up the subject of a third one. I discussed this with my OB, and he was strongly against me becoming pregnant again. He just advised that he thought it would be too risky. So, that was that. Now, that they are grown--30 & 26, I also think like some of the others and you about holidays when my husband and I are gone--they'll just have each other. But, God has a plan, and that was his plan for me, and he has a plan for you, Natalie. If you are meant to have another one, it will happen. I'm sorry this is lengthy and maybe contains TMI, but I just thought I'd give my perspective as an older mother who has two wonderful, grown children. Have a great weekend! xoxoGingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06740535322916630373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-23300407765628141902015-01-30T13:42:10.833-08:002015-01-30T13:42:10.833-08:00Haha oh my goodness I am dying laughing and so cre...Haha oh my goodness I am dying laughing and so creeped out by those 15 comments from kids!!! I am no help in the kids department, but whats meant to be will be :) (I'm one of three too so have always assumed I will want three??)<br /><br />www.itsthelittlethingsblog.blogspot.comTaylor https://www.blogger.com/profile/15314090782222464248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-48669089130307386132015-01-30T13:04:53.844-08:002015-01-30T13:04:53.844-08:00Oh and I was SO hoping this pregnancy was twins so...Oh and I was SO hoping this pregnancy was twins so that I could have 4 kids with only 3 pregnancies!! I'm the anomaly out there who always wanted twins ;)Meg ~ Chasing Pink Fireflieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09453942618744302502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-72349873496387439082015-01-30T13:04:14.353-08:002015-01-30T13:04:14.353-08:00I'm pregnant with #3 and completely understand...I'm pregnant with #3 and completely understand this struggle to know when I'm really finished. I always wanted 5 kids but with 2 (soon-to-be 3) c-sections, I know I can't have 5, and 4 is unlikely as well. This pregnancy has been terribly scary and I also don't think I can put myself through all of this emotionally again, should it happen once more. But that being said, I also wonder about the baby that we lost and wonder if it was a boy now that we've gone on to only have girls. I don't know that I'll ever feel "done" but certainly don't want to look back in 20 years with regrets that I didn't have one more.Meg ~ Chasing Pink Fireflieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09453942618744302502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1278276723610191994.post-15096320505326609852015-01-30T12:47:03.814-08:002015-01-30T12:47:03.814-08:00I think because of how fast things went with Wyatt...I think because of how fast things went with Wyatt, I am already thinking about #3. Ryan and I both came from big families and I think that though the days are long now I just love the idea of having big family get together down the road and sharing in on life with the kids. But ask me again in a year and I may have a different story...ha!natasha {schue love}https://www.blogger.com/profile/03425886437465409084noreply@blogger.com