Being a Mom

Mother's Day is Sunday and this year for some reason it really got me thinking about being Mother and what it means.  

Being a mom is the greatest Blessing in the world.  

Being a mom is single handedly the most rewarding and most challenging job ever.  There are no days off .  The future of a human being depends on you.  What paths they choose in life and the direction they take their life is a result of the decisions you make while they are young.  This is heavy stuff.  Being a mom means never having a second to yourself again- not even peeing or showering.  You fully open your life to this tiny human being and it is forever changed.  Your freedom is gone.  Being a mom means alot of sleepless nights and exhausting days.  It means sometimes going days without showering or leaving the house.  It means cleaning up more poop and vomit than you could have ever imagined.   It means sacrificing what you want so you can provide and take care of this person you created.  It means being under appreciated most of the time.  It means crying yourself to sleep sometimes because the day was so incredibly long and monotonous.  It means sometimes needing a glass of wine at 4:00 in the afternoon because it was one of those days.  Being a mom means worrying incessantly.  It means pulling yourself out of bed at the crack of dawn every morning with a smile on your face no matter what. 

Being a mom also means being the luckiest person in the world.   It means a simple smile, hug, or laugh can make your entire day.  It means laughing like you have never laughed before. It means having a love so immense it sometimes brings you to your knees.  Being a mom means living a life so fulfilling you need nothing else.  You frequently wonder what you did with your life before this child was born.  Being a mom means finding simple pleasures out of everything.  Being a mom means having an unspoken bond with all other moms we just get each other.  Being a mom means appreciating your mom that much more- you know what she sacrificed and put into raising you and how hard it was.  Being a mom means being incredibly strong, your body housed a baby for 9 months and then birthed it.  Being a mom means thanking God every single day for the miracle of life he blessed you with.   It means being grateful beyond belief.  Being a mom is the most wonderful thing in the world.

To all you moms out there enjoy this day.  I know we all deserve to be pampered and appreciated at least for one day.  Being a mom is hard as crap but worth every minute.  I wouldn't change it for anything.  And Happy Mothers Day to my mom, the most incredible mom in the world, she is my inspiration.

30 Things....

I don't what is about this New Year but I am particularly inspired. I have made a bold decision and made no resolutions this year. I am just making life changes. I am focusing on being grateful for what I have and not comparing myself to others- which is pretty hard in this wonderful world of blogging. I always see houses that are nicer than mine, clothes that are better than mine, people that are craftier than me, Kids with cooler rooms than Sterling's, I could go on and on. But this year I have decided to be happy with who I am and what I have. Yeah I might hate a DIY project but I am good at many other things. Yeah my house is small and not as nice as others but it is our home and we have made so many wonderful memories here. I am learning to be grateful for what I have because my life is pretty darn good.

I came across this article, 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself, and found it very inspiring. I really related to 22, 23, 27, 28 and 30. We all could learn alot from this list. It is a long read but worth it! New Year, New Me (or at least til next week when I drop my diet, start complaining again, and get jealous of someone else). Happy Saturday Dolls!



30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
1.Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2.Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3.Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.

4.Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5.Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6.Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7.Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8.Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9.Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10.Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

11.Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12.Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13.Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14.Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15.Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16.Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17.Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18.Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19.Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20.Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21.Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22.Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23.Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.

24.Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

25.Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26.Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27.Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

28.Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29.Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30.Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

ARTICLE VIA

A Day In My Life

Today I thought it would be fun to give you guys a sneak peek into my daily life.  I always love reading how others manage their time and days, so here you go.

6:30-7:00

Wake Up. I never set an alarm, I am usually always up by 7 thanks to my little man.  He is not a late sleeper.  This week he has been waking up around 6 every morning, ugh.

First priority is coffee for me.  Drink one mug every morning.  I take my coffee black- no sugar or creamer. 

While I fix my coffee, I also fix Sterling juice and a Nutragrain cereal bar.  He is a man of routine and likes his cereal bar and juice and every morning.   After his cereal bar he is immediately ready for his "second" breakfast which is usually cereal or oatmeal.  I fix this and then turn on the TV to Nick Jr for Sterling while I log in and post my blog entry for the day.  I also make a to-do list each day in my May book.  Keeps me organized.

 I usually leave the TV on for an hour or more (don't judge) while I do my morning routine.  I also let him eat on our couch- I know its a bad idea but it is a routine now- plus that couch is so nasty.  Breakfast is the meal he is allowed to eat in the den though.   One day I will have nice furniture!

7:30

This happens to be a day I run.  I only run every other day- so maybe 3 times a week on a good week.  I go while Matt is still home and can watch Sterling.  I have a 3 mile loop I usually do, which takes about 30 minutes.

8:00-9:30

I get back from my run and chug water.  Then I make a batch of my green juice.  I make juice every morning.  I swear it gives me more energy.  My juicer is my favorite kitchen appliance,  seriously.   I never knew how much I would love it or use it, but she is a true gem.  I usually juice: Kale, spinach, apple, lemon, ginger, and cucumber. 

After I drink this I quickly shower.  I only wash my hair every other day and I try to coincide this with the days I run.  It needs to be washed those days because it is sweaty.   I do however put on make-up everyday.  I am serious, even if I am not doing anything I put on make-up, makes me feel pulled together.  Plus my under eye circles and blonde eyelashes are tragic without make-up.

My daily make-up essentials (Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer, Nars Bronzer, Naked eyeshadow palette, Maybelline Mascara, Cle De Peau Concealor,  and Chanel Lipstick).

 Then I make our bed.  I am a freak about making our bed.  I hate leaving the house with an unmade bed.   I am also a freak about an all white bedding.  I love an all white bed.  The four poster bed was mine from when I was a child.  I don't love it and really want a fabric headboard but want to wait til we make the switch to a King Bed for a new headboard.  So for now she says.  It is very princessy.

After that I quickly make my breakfast.  Today it is Wheat toast with Peanut Butter, Bananas and Honey.

 I scarf that down and then make Sterling's lunch.   I usually send him a PB&J or PB& honey most days.  Kids lunches are hard! 

Then we leave the house at 9:30 and it is off to school for Sterling.

10-12:45

Today while Sterling is in school, I have a doctors appointment, then I hit up Target, the Grocery Store, and pick up dry cleaning.  It is so nice to shop without a child whining,  I take my time and browse.  Run the groceries home and then it is pick up time.  3 hours flies by.

 1:00-3:00

We are back home and I put Sterling down for a nap. He now insists on napping in his PJ's everyday.  How cute is he?

 This is when I have quiet time and sit down and eat lunch.  Today for lunch it is sauteed kale, veggies and hummus.  I am really trying to lose my extra 5lbs I put on this summer.  Nothing is working so it is diet time during the week.  I try to eat healthy for lunch and breakfast and then indulge a little at dinner with Matt.

I also allow myself to watch one show I recorded.  I usually watch the Housewives or the Kardashians because Matt can't stand it when I watch them while he is home.  Today it is NYC Housewives and the train wreck that is Aviva.

 

After my lunch and trashy TV session I do a few chores around the house like laundry and emptying the dishwasher.  Then I sit down and work on my blog/pinterest/respond to emails until Sterling wakes up.  Some days he naps two hours some days only one so I never know how much time I have.

4:00

When he wakes up we usually go an afternoon walk to the park or beach near our house.

This is the typical reaction I get when I tell him to get in the stroller.  Even if I have bribed him with a Popsicle.  To me this time of the day is so hard.  I never know how to fill the "witching hour."

He cheers up once we get to the park

 5:00-6:00

I turn on the TV again for Sterling to watch a cartoon and I start cooking his dinner and get Matt and my dinner going as well.  Matt doesn't get home til 7:30 most nights so I fed Sterling alone around 6 and then eat with Matt when he gets home.  Tonight it is Spanakopita, fruit,  and cheese for Sterling. 

Tonight he insists on wearing his glasses while he eats.  Too cool already.

6:00-7:30

Ladies,  this is my happy time when I finally pour a glass of wine and go sit and read a magazine while Sterling plays in the bath.  I have a glass or two every.single.night pretty much.  Keeps me sane.  I take no drugs just wine.

Then Matt gets home and we each read Sterling a story and say his prayers and it is off to bed for him.  He is in bed by 8.

Since it is Wednesday night that means it is Taco Night at the Mason House.  We cook tacos every Wednesday night.  It is our hump day tradition.  In honor of it being Wednesday night we each get a shot of Tequila.  We normally don't drink liquor during the week but this is our exception.  Tequila goes so well with tacos and I am a true tequila lover.  We each get one shot- and we don't shoot it we sip it while we chat about our days.

8:30

We sit down to eat and watch our TV shows (Modern Family etc).  Yes we eat on the couch and watch TV while we eat.  It works people!  Notice the difference in our plates.  If only I could eat like that and not gain weight.  Men are lucky.

9:30-10

Get ready for bed.  This includes washing my face, contacts, and brushing/flossing my teeth.  Then I get in bed and read my Daily Devotional,  Jesus Calling.   I highly recommend this book it has gotten me thru some hard times and provided great inspiration.   If I am not too exhausted I will also read a few pages in whatever book I am currently reading.  Tonight I decide to flip thru my new Bazaar with Kate Hudson because I am in between books.  We almost always have the lights out by 10.

Well, I am exhausted are you?  This post was for my hubs who sometimes thinks I have easy days.  He jokes that being a stay at home mom means I sit around and eat bonbons and watch TV all day.  Could not be further from the truth.   I know he doesn't really believe I do that but it was fun to document my day.   My day is non-stop!  So there you go, a day in my life.  Nothing exciting but I sure do love being a stay at home mom.  I feel so lucky that I am able to take care of Sterling and be home with him, I know not everyone has that luxury.  

Happy Thursday.  T-minus one day til the weekend!

Frequently Asked Questions

Today I wanted to answer some frequent questions I get asked.  I get many questions via email, on instagram and my blog and I am bad sometimes about responding.  So many of the questions are the same so I thought I would answer them here.  If you guys like this kind of a post I am open to do more q&a posts in the future and y'all can email me questions!  

Has the rash on your ring finger gone away and what helped it?  

This is one of the most frequent questions I get!  It is crazy so many of y'all have this same problem too.  My rash is better but it is not gone.  I have left my rings off for almost a month now and I have been using hydrocortisone.  It is definitely better but not gone.  At first it was bright red,  the skin was peeling and it hurt so bad.  It almost felt as it was burned.  Now it is just slightly red,  but it gets re-irritated every time I put my rings on.  I tried to wear my rings last night and as soon as I put them on the skin just felt tight and hurt even though it doesn't look as bad as it previously did.  I am actually going to see my dermatologist next week to let her look at it and hopefully get a prescription cream to clear it up.  I can't believe it has lasted this long.  

Some of you wanted to know what others recommended so here are some of the tips I received

- use aloe vera

- leave rings off and use hydrocortisone 3x a day

- soak rings in a windex/hydrogen peroxide mixture and clean well with a toothbrush

- have my rings re-dipped

- Magic Egyptian cream

- do not use foam hand wash or blue dawn apparently they both irritate skin

How is my diet going?

I plan to run a full post on this soon but I am trying to take pictures so I can show you guys a 3 day diet of what I eat,  so stay tuned.  I would not call what I am doing a diet because I HATE diets.  I have a hard time sticking to anything regimented and lets be honest I love food and I also like my wine too.  What I try to do is make small changes during the week and on the weekends I honestly eat what I want.  During the week I try to avoid processed foods and carbs- this doesn't happen everyday but I just try to be mindful about it. I am trying to eat more meat and protein because that was part of my problem before.  The meat and protein help fill me up.  Before when I wasn't eating much meat I was eating lots of bread, cheese, and pasta and I was still hungry and gaining weight.    I also am really trying not to snack on the kid's dinners.  That was a big problem for me, I was eating their dinner leftovers and then my own dinner an hour or two later.  I have started trying to just go ahead and eat early with them.   I usually go to bed hungry because I eat around 6 now but it has helped me cut out that snacking.  It has been 2 months and so far I have lost 6 lbs and I have 6-8 more lbs I would ideally like to lose.   It is a slow process for sure but I am not feeling too deprived which is good.  

What types of workouts do I do?  

This Summer I was just doing barre class about 4 times a week.  The class I take is called Extreme Barre so it is harder than regular barre.  They often incorporate cardio and I leave the class exhausted and sweaty.  Now that school has started back it is harder for me to get to all the barre classes, so I try and do it twice a week then I have started a new class called Red Zone that I do once a week.  It is a cardio boot camp where the goal is to keep your heart in the red zone (similar to Orange Theory).  It burns mad calories last class we averaged burning 700 calories.  So currently I do barre twice a week and Red Zone once a week.  I want to add at least one more class to get 4 workouts in.  I am also about to start training on the side with my barre instructor to try and tone up.  Once I do I will share what we do and what works.  

Several of you asked if I am still running and I am not.  The last time I ran this Summer I really hurt my back and now I am scared to run again and mess it up.  I have really enjoyed doing more classes though.  I feel like I push myself more when I working out with others plus I have made some new gym friends too!

When I do a blog sale and clean out my closet how do I decide what items to keep or get rid of?

I try to clean out my closet quarterly that way it never really gets too out of hand.  As a blogger and someone who loves to shop I always have more clothes than I need or really wear.  Each season I try and clean out so then I can add a few new pieces for that season.   First I usually let my mom and sister look and see if they want anything.  Then I go through and if the item has not been worn in that past year it has to go.  That means I don't love it and it clearly is not something I am going to pull out to wear.  I will say most of my cheaper items from Forever 21, Loft or Banana Republic usually get cleaned out.  I like them for a season or two but they are not closet staples.   My more expensive pieces I just tend to like more and want to wear them more maybe because subconsciously I know I spent more money on them.  If there is something I really love but don't wear and it has special meaning to me I save that for Frances Moon. For example I have saved my Missoni dress I wore at our Rehearsal dinner for her and the dress I was wearing when I got engaged.   What my mom and sister don't want I usually sell on my blog.  Currently I am saving that money from my last blog sale to buy a new purse.  The off brand items and items that I don't sell I donate to Goodwill.

How do I organize my closet?  

Since we live in a smaller ranch home we have small closets.  I have taken over 3 of the closets in the house- haha.  I have a hall closet that is meant to be for coats where I store all my dresses, tall boots and clutches.  Then in our bedroom I share that closet with Matt and I keep my blouses and long maxi dresses in there.  In Frances Moon's room I share her closet and keep my jackets in there.  

I organize my blouses by sleeve type | sleeveless, short sleeve, long sleeve and then tees and sweaters.  Then I group all those categories by color.    I also group my dresses by style.  I group all my church dresses together, then Summer sleeveless dresses, long sleeve and formal/dressy dresses- which honestly I have no wear to wear these days.  

I recently found two large acrylic cases at TJMaxx that I store all my jewelry in.  I love being able to see it all and easily access it!

Two must haves for my closet are these velvet hangers and this steamer.  Since my clothes are packed in small closets they get wrinkled and I use this steamer almost everyday!  It is hand held, heats up fast and works so well.  I never use an iron anymore.

The steamer is currently 50% off too!

These velvet coat hangers are the best too.  I personally just like how they look and they don't take up much space.

Will I ever sell Frances Moon clothes?

The short answer is no.  My sister in law has a baby girl one year younger than Frances so I pass everything down to her.  Then when she gives it back I save the items in case my sister or other sister in law has a girl one day.

How often do I cook dinner?

I usually cook dinner 3 nights a week.  The other nights we eat leftovers and then on the weekends we usually order food or go out to dinner.

What do the kids do while I cook dinner?

I usually always start dinner while Frances naps.  I pick her up from school at 1 and immediately take her home to nap.  Sterling is still in school so while she naps I do prep work for dinner.  If it is an easy one dish meal like Tomato Pie or enchiladas I try to assemble the whole thing so all I have to do is bake it that night.  If it is something that requires more effort I finish it around 5.  I let the kids play in the den or if they have already had a bath and Sterling has finished his homework they are allowed to watch TV.  I usually do baths super early like 5 and then I can finish dinner by about 6 while the kids watch a show.  I try to save tv time for when I need to get something done.  They are not allowed to watch it during the day but at night or if I need to get ready in the morning I turn it on.  Sometimes they also like to sit at the dining room table and color while I cook.  

What are my favorite Roses? 

My five favorites are : AIX, Moulin De Gassac Guilhem, Houchart, Miraval, and Whispering Angel.

Locals I buy my rose at Bottles and the wine shop down near Ashley Marina. 

Is Frances potty trained and how is the big girl bed going? 

Frances Moon is not potty trained and shows zero interest in it.  It honestly scares me a bit because I feel like she is gonna be really difficult to potty train.  The only interest she shows is wanting to wear big girl panties over her diapers.  With Sterling I just waited until he was ready.  I saw friends try and push their kids too early and what a battle that was so I just waited.  A few weeks after he turned 3 he just did it one day and never stopped.  No joke he has never wet the bed once nor did he ever wear pull-ups,  he was just so easy.  That's why I fear Frances will be so hard.  Sterling is also like a camel and just doesn't pee often and Frances Moon pees all the time.  If you have any potty training tips send them my way! 

The big girl bed on the other hand has gone great.  She loves her bed and is so proud of her room.  Every time anyone comes over she immediately takes them to see her big girl bed.  We are finally assembling her headboard this weekend!  She never gets out of bed in the middle of the night and most mornings she calls for me to get her out.   She loves having the space.  

How do I stay organized?  

We have a set schedule most days.  I need to do another Day in Our Life Post, I will work on that and share our day to day schedule.  The main way I stay organized is with my planner.  I am old fashioned and love to write things down.  I am a huge list maker.  I write a to-do list every single day.  This year I switched to the Emily Ley Simplified Planner and I have really love it.   The 2017 one was just released and I already have mine!   I like the layout of her planner because I can write my appointments and to-do list for that day on the same page.  It also has a monthly overview that I love.  It really helps me stay organized.  I also love May Designs notebooks.  I keep a few around for grocery lists and I just got a new one I use for keeping track of expenses.

Have a great weekend!  

Parenting The Heavy Stuff

Parenting.  Nobody warns you how hard it truly is.  You go into it blindly because people don't tell you that kind of stuff, kind of like nobody tells you hard it is to truly get your body back after a baby.  You get pregnant and have this sweet innocent little baby.  You worry if they are eating enough and meeting milestones and you are tired but life is good.  Then they start moving and talking and all hell breaks loose.  

If you really sit and think about the enormity of raising a child it will stress you out.  

As both Sterling and Frances get older it has started to hit me even harder.  I am fighting constant battles with both of them and it is hard to know the right thing to do.   I want to raise them to be good kids but man it is hard.  I wake up every morning and think today is the day I am gonna be the best mom ever.  I won't lose my temper, we will play and do fun stuff, I will savor every little moment and it will be glorious.  Then the kids wake up and Frances immediately starts crying,  whether I gave her the wrong cereal or forgot one of her animals from bed she is easily offended and upset in the morning.  Then Sterling has a melt down over what to wear to school.  Then we are running late because he refuses to get dressed because his favorite shorts and apparently the only ones he wants to wear are in the washing machine.  Then they both start fighting and I lose it.  My perfect day is shattered all before 7:05am. 

I know I will miss these mornings, I truly know that but sometimes being in the actual moment it is hard.  I constantly teeter between wanting to savor the moment and not wish time away to counting down the hours til bedtime.   Then I lay in bed at night and rethink the whole day and question what I could have done better as mom that day.  I beat myself up a lot questioning what I could have done differently that day.

We went to Sterling's school yesterday to watch him run a fun run and as I watched all the first graders line up, I got teary eyed.  They are all so sweet and innocent and I just wanted to freeze time.   Sterling was smiling and waving at us and he was so proud and happy we were there at his school.  We are still cool for the moment.  I try to volunteer and eat lunch with him as much as I can because I know soon there will come a day when he will say Mom leave me alone and not really want me around.   I dread that day.  

He was sweet at school but that night as we sat down to do homework the attitude emerged.  When he is mad he is mad.  He frequently tells me I am a bad mom and that he wishes he never had a family.  The kind of stuff that tugs at your heart strings.   You try to brush it off but it hurts your feelings.  You want to say fine get out of time out and give him a hug but you have to stand your ground and that is the hardest part of parenting.  Sometimes it is so much easier to just give in to what they want so they will be quiet.  But in the end that is what will make them troublesome kids so you have to stand your ground no matter how hard it is.  He threw a pencil at my head that night- it did not hurt but it caught me off guard.  I sent him to time out and early bedtime and then went to my room and cried.  I cried because being a parent is hard as shit.   I expected the teenage years to be hard and filled with lots of attitude but not at 6. 

Sterling doesn't like one single team sport.  We have tried soccer, lacrosse, and flag football and he hates them all.  I am talking we get to practice and he screams and cries and refuses to play.   At age 6 it gets to the point where it is embarrassing.  I watch all these other kids excited to get out there and play and think why doesn't my son want to play?  Now I can't entirely blame him as I never liked any sports either so maybe he gets it from me.  How do you know when to give in and let you child quit or keep pushing them to try.  I don't want to raise a quitter but I also don't want to keep forcing him.  It seems innocent enough but these are the choices that will mold him as an adult and that scares me. 

Frances Moon is full on terrible twos.  She is almost violent sometimes.  When she gets angry she lets out an almost primal scream and then she flails herself to the floor.  If Sterling has done something to offend her she gets so mad she claws at him.  Sometimes it seriously scares me and amazes me that this 2 year old has this much emotion and anger.  She makes Sterling cry way more than he makes her cry.  

Frances is impossible to get dressed in the morning.  She runs and hides from me.  Then when I find her she curls up in a ball so it is impossible to get her pajamas off.  If I pick the wrong dress she cries and screams.  The struggle is real every single morning.  Same with changing her diapers, she runs and hides.  I can tell she is gonna be hard to potty train because she will just sit in a dirty diaper and not care one bit. 

A few weeks ago at the gym I picked her up after my barre class and she was in time out.  I asked why and they said she had taken off her princess shoes and hit another child in the head.  They put her in time out and said she could get out if she said she was sorry.  Well Miss Frances Moon is stubborn much like her daddy and she doesn't say sorry so they said she sat in time out almost 45 minutes waiting me for to get done.  We had a long talk about hitting kids and she is no longer allowed to wear princess shoes (they are hard as crap) out of the house.  Now every day when I pick her up from school the first thing she says is " I did not hit anyone today." Like she is so proud of herself for not hitting.  

Every single day I think about 16 years from now when the house will be empty and they off at school and how much I will miss these days.  I know these are single handedly the hardest and the best days of my life.   So today I just needed to vent and take note of this time in my life.  It's exhausting, and it's hard but it's fleeting.  It is much better to have noise and chaos than a quiet house:) 

Happy Friday.  Hope you have a Winner Tonight.

Life With Two: Surviving the First 11 weeks

 I got such a great response from my How I Do it Meal Time post and the Mommy Confessions, so I thought I would share a little insight into juggling life with two kids.   I love hearing from other moms and how you manage it all!

Below is the low down on life with two kids, it is both easier and harder than I thought it would be. 

BIRTH EXPERIENCE

The whole birthing experience was way easier.  I think because my body had been thru it before it knew what to do.  Pregnancy however was harder the second time around, way more taxing on my body.   I felt like I was 90 years old towards the end, plus the varicose veins I got were horrible.  Labor was much easier the second time and so was the recovery.  I was in labor with Sterling 30 hours, this time was 4 hours start to finish. Recovery time with Sterling was a good six weeks, I bled a ton and I was in alot of pain down there.  This time I took no pain medicine and the bleeding was much lighter and didn't last as long.  Birth experience all around easier for sure.

DAMN HORMONES

One thing I forgot about after I had Sterling was the hormones.  I was literally a crazy person for the first six weeks after Frances was born.  I cried almost everyday.   I know I had a touch of post partum- not in the sense that I wanted to hurt my children, I never felt like that at all, but just sad and overwhelmed.   Around 5 weeks I started to feel like myself again.  I did not take any meds but if you feel like you need meds afterwards because you are sad,  totally go that route.  Matt and I got into so many fights those first few weeks.  Two kids takes a toll on a marriage, I expected him to do more but never communicated what and he just thought I was crazy.  Since Matt works long hours I was used to single handily doing everything for Sterling but I quickly found I could not manage that with two.  He didn't understand why I was so upset but then again do men ever truly get what we go through??  I forgot how hard the first 6 weeks were.  You are happy not to be pregnant but its a whole different ballgame once that baby is out.  New moms just know it gets easier after the first 5-6 weeks.

BOUNCING BACK AFTER

With both pregnancies I gained around 35lbs.  I weighed in the hospital right after I had Frances and had only lost 10lbs- WTH.  I lost another 10 in the next two weeks but the last 15 has been tricky as I knew it would be. Those lucky few who only gain 25lbs during pregnancy have it made.   My sister bounced back so quickly after her son, that I thought I would too.  I still have 6lbs to go to get to my prebaby weight and I really don't think I will drop it til I stop breast feeding or start working out hard.  I know with Sterling by 6 months I felt and looked back to normal but for me the second time around is harder and longer to get back to normal. Not sure if my stomach will ever be the same though.   I am more frustrated this time around ready to be back to normal but I know it takes time for your body to shrink back.   With two the struggle is finding the time and energy to work out.  I hope as Frances gets older and the weather warms up this will be easier.

NO TIME FOR ME

The biggest adjustment with two is there is literally no time for yourself.  I have started showering and doing my hair at night just to have time to get it done.  Mornings are usually too rushed to get it done and get the kids dressed and out the door.  After I shower at night I crash in bed, I am too tired to even read most nights.  I am on from 5:30 in the morning til 8:30 at night.  and really even longer because Frances still wakes up 1-2 times a night.  My body has gotten used to no sleep.  I was beyond exhausted the first 3 weeks and then it just felt like the new normal.  I can now function on little to no sleep.   I have not been alone by myself in a very long time.  I mean it has been four years since I was able to poop or pee alone- meanwhile Matt sleeps in and poops in silence.  In my next life I am coming back as a man. 

BREASTFEEDING

I had a hard time nursing Sterling. He never latched on right from the beginning so I had to do a mix of formula and breast milk from the get go.  I lasted three months nursing him and then quit.  It was too hard and my milk supply was too low.  I was much happier after I quit.   This time has been night and day different.  Breastfeeding has been easy this time around- although I still swear it is the hardest part of having baby.  You are always on demand and man do your nipples hurt.   I nurse Frances every three hours now and we are on a good schedule.  I only pump when I need bottle if I am going out.  I have yet to introduce formula but plan to in the next week few weeks because I have some trips coming up.  I don't know if I am just more laid back this time but I don't hate nursing like I did with Sterling.   I know my milk supply is way better this time so that helps.  The hardest part is dealing with Sterling while I nurse. He wants to climb all on me, punch my boobs, hit Frances in the face,  anything to get attention because he knows it is my one on one time with Frances. That has been really difficult.

MANAGING TWO

Thank goodness Sterling is in school 5 days a week.  It has been nice to have alone time with Frances and bond with her.  But I do miss my one on one time Sterling.  Now that Frances is getting a bit older and we can space out feedings I want to carve time out for just me and him.  Something that surprised me post baby was how needy Sterling has been and the fact that he has acted out alot.  He has become very sassy and talks back all the time. I find myself getting angry and annoyed at him and I have to tell myself to take a deep breath and realize his world has been rocked too.  For 4 years he had all my attention. 

WINE

Are you surprised I made this a category??  Wine has been my saving grace post baby two.  It helps me unwind and feel back to normal.  I got many snarky comments on instagram about drinking while nursing.  I do not get drunk or drink more than two drinks (although really it is no one business but mine and Matt's how much I drink but dang people can be so judgmental).  My doctor said it is totally fine to have a glass of wine or two while nursing.  If I drink more I dump my milk easy as that.  You have to find that small thing that makes you happy and for me that is good wine- oh I have turned into such a wine snob post Frances since I don't drink much.  My 1-2 glasses better be damn good.  Mommy ain't got time for cheap wine.  Find what makes you happy and incorporate it back in your life- exercise is next for me when I find the time.

The new happy hour- bath time.

GETTING SHIT DONE

In order to get anything accomplished I must do it while Sterling is in school or while he naps. He still naps most days and if he doesn't he takes the ipad back to room for quiet time.  I run all my errands in the morning when it is just me and Frances.  Then at naptime I do blog work, emails and cook dinner.  Once Matt is home usually at night I straighten up and do laundry. It is a juggling act for sure.  While it stresses me out to the max to have unmade beds and toys everywhere, I have learned with two sometimes you just have to let it go.  Taking care of the kids is first priority so if I don't get to that I can't stress too much.  Now that Frances is older I am finding I have a little more time to straighten up and clean up.  I can't stand clutter everywhere but with kids its part of life now! 

Call me crazy but I already think about wanting a third child- but not anytime soon.  I grew up in a family of three and like that number.  Frances has been a doll of a baby and as hard as it is, I love being a Mom.  It is my life now, my kids are my greatest accomplishment and blessing.  I can not imagine my life without these two sweet souls.  It is a new kind of gratification, love, and happiness I never knew existed.  Matt only wants two kids though, so three may not be in the cards for us, who knows.  Either way I am immensely thankful for my two children and family of four!

I loved the quote below something important for us all to remember.  How do you manage your kids?

and a few of my favorite baby essentials: