Being a Stay at Home Mom

Over the weekend, I read the most incredible and on point article about being a stay at home mom, written by, gasp, a man. It was spot on and I found my self nodding and agreeing with everything he said. You must check out the article HERE, it is appropriately called Being a Stay at Home Mom, What do you do all day?  Matt Walsh's wife is one lucky lady, for the fact that he realizes how hard it is being a stay at home mom.  Sometimes I think men don't quite get it.

It got me thinking alot about being a stay at home mom.  As soon as I got pregnant with Sterling I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  We grew up with my mom home with us and I wanted that same experience.  I realize some people don't have the option or luxury to stay at home with their kids, wheter they choose to go back to work (trust me I can understand why you would choose the adult world over poop and baby talk all day) or the fact that finicially they need two incomes.  As luck would have it the company I worked for while I was pregnant with Sterling got hit hard by the down turn in the economy and I was laid off the weekend before I had Sterling.   They offered no maternity leave so this was just as good.  I knew I probably won't go back full time after I had Sterling, but had thought about part time.  I was never the bread winner anyways so by the time we added in daycare it wasn't financially worth it for me to work anyways.

You see I choose to be a stay at home mom.  Yes, things are tight around here and there have been times when we have had to rely on our families to help us out.  I am lucky in that aspect, that they will lend a helping hand.   I choose to have less, meaning we have not taken a vacation since our honeymoon (except for our beach trip which my family pays for)  because I want to be home with Sterling.  We desperately need more space but just can't afford to move to a bigger house right now, for the same reason.   It makes you realize yes, money is important but not the most important thing in life.  I would not change a thing, I am so grateful to stay home with Sterling.  I  love spending so much quality time with him while he is young and watching him grow and mature into such a sweet, loving and quirky little man.  I have witnessed all of his "firsts" and seen his personality develop and to me that is worth more than gold.  I will forever treasure these times and memories.

Being a stay at home is mom is a long ass day.  I don't understand the people who think our day is easy and that we sit around and watch tv all day.  In fact most days I rarely watch TV unless its cartoons for Sterling.  Sterling wakes up before the sun rises everyday single day (seriously 6:45 is a late start for us) and is non stop from the moment he wakes up.   At this age Sterling always needs something- food, juice, help building a puzzle, help getting dressed,  help using the bathroom (at what age can you stop wiping your kids bottom?), etc.    In between tending to his needs I also have to take care of our dog and all the household responsibilities.   Making sure the house is clean, sheets are changed, laundry is done, drycleaning dropped off, dinner is cooked,  you get the idea.   Then somewhere in between all that I try to take an hour for me and work on my blog, because that is what I enjoy plus it provides me with some spending money.  Until about a month ago I was also working at home part time at my old job but finally had to quit because I was just too over stretched, I don't know how some women juggle it all.

The days are incredibly long as a stay at home mom.  I am exhasuted by 7 most nights, just the time Matt is getting home from work.  I feel bad because by then I am done for the day and just want to get in bed but marriage is important too so I make an effort for us all to eat togther as a family and catch up with Matt.   You can't forget about your spouse even though your kids drain the life out of you. This clip from family guy pretty much sums it up, there is always someone yelling "mom".

I think being at stay at home mom is one of the most under-appreciated jobs around.  We always put our needs last and rarely get any down time.   Even on the weekends it is just me and Sterling because Matt works most weekends.   After becoming a mom myself it made me appreciate all that my mom sacrificed and gave to us even more. At times I am envious of people who go to work and have that adult time, I am sure it nice to have a break from your kids but I still wouldn't change a thing.  My heart broke for my sister and sister in law when they had to go back to work, I know hard it is to leave your baby when they are young, especially when you don't want to. 

I think the years when your kids are young are fleeting, they go by so fast and I feel so grateful to be able to spend all this time with Sterling.  I truly love being a stay at home mom.    I rarely get a thank you, but I know I am helping to mold my son into a good person and that is all that matters.  Bravo to all you stay at home moms, I know what tough but equally rewarding job it it.
Word to your Mother.  and yes I am terrified of being a SAHM to two kids- yikes!

Gratitude

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We hosted Matt's family at our house this year. Everything went well except we really didn't account for how small our oven was. We could only fit the turkey in it, so we had to cook it and then take it out and cook all our sides. Needless to say we didn't eat until almost 9:00 but everything was delicious. I tried my hand at Paula Deen's oyster dressing and it was amazing.
Since Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, I wanted to take a minute to reflect on all the many things I am thankful for:

-My Baby Boy. He has changed my life, enriched it, and made me a better person. His smiles and laughs are the highlight of my day. I can't imgaine my life without him!
-My Husband. He tirelessly works to provide for Sterling and I and he always makes me laugh! He has a huge heart and is honestly one of the nicest people I know. 9 years after meeting him, he is still my best friend and love of my life.
-My Family. I love them to pieces and I really wish we lived in the same city! Thank god for phones I talk to my mom and sister at least 10 times a day!
-Our Health. We are so fortunate to all be healthy, something we sometimes forgot about and take for granted.
-Wine. After 9 (really 10) long months of no alcohol it is so nice to be able to indulge in a few glasses after a long day with a fussy baby.
-My Purses. Sad but true, I love my purses. Just looking at them in my closet makes me happy. They were an investment but worth every penny because I will love them for years to come.
-Starbucks. The perfect treat for this time of the year. I love the pumpkin spice latte, peppermint mocha, carmel macchiato and the green tea latte is my newest obsession. Yes, gourmet coffee does bring me a bit of happiness!
-Fashion and Home Decor Magazines (and lets not forget US WEEKLY). It makes my day anytime I get one of my many magazines that I subscribe to in the mail. They provide me with alot of inspiration and ideas for my life.
-TJMAXX, Marshalls and HomeGoods. I love these stores, you can find the best deals and I love a bargain! While I was home my mom found some gorgeous Calvin Klein wine glasses that retailed for $30 and were at HomeGoods for $2.99. You can't beat that!
-Good Food. I love cooking and trying new recipes. I also love dining out but those days are few and far between with our baby boy. A good meal home cooked or from a restaurant makes me very happy.
-Cheese. Had to give this its own category. Love cheese and nothing goes better with a glass of wine than cheese. My newest favorite is manchego. I strongly feel that cheese makes everything taste better.
-Cookbooks. I have quite the collection of cookbooks. I will never get around to making all the recipes but I love browsing through them getting ideas for meals.
-Our Dog Nelson. She is the sweetest dog I could ask for. She is wonderful with Sterling . And even though this baby has come into her life and taken her parents attention away from her, she still just wants to love us.
-Good Jeans. I am beyond obsessed with my 7 for All Mankind "The Skinny" Jeans. They suck you in all the right places are so flattering. They are a little bit higher waisted than other jeans, preventing the dreaded muffintop. I wear them almost everyday.
-My House. I love our house and where we live.

What are you thankful for this year? My life is filled with so many blessings I thank God everyday (although I could stand to make it to church more often:)
Here are a few pictures from our Thanksgiving. You gotta love that everyone but Matt dressed up. He was rocking what I like to call his Bon Jovi jeans and Mountain Man top, but he looks handsome:0

The Dreaded Question

Things are about to get a little heavy and personal up in here for a Friday- just a heads up.  I have debated for awhile about writing about this topic and ultimately decided why not??  There might be other people in the same boat as me and we women need to be honest and stick together.  So here goes.

The Dreaded question:  When are you going to have more kids?  Are you going to give Sterling a brother or sister?   Don't you want your kids close in age?  People ask me this all the time and I know I am not the only person that gets this question.  Its like after you get married you get bombarded with "when are you having kids?"  then after you have one kid even before they turn one people start asking "do you want more?  How far apart in age do you want them?  When are you going to start trying for number two? "  All pretty personal questions in my opinion.   Especially when you are struggling to get pregnant. 

I got pregnant with Sterling fairly quickly, took us about 5 months.  Standard timing I guess.  I have always wanted more kids no doubt.  I just didn't want them too close in age.  Sterling was not the easiest baby and kept me very busy/exhausted so I figured three years apart would be perfect.   He would be in a big boy bed and potty trained and then it would be the right timing for number two.

 Right before Sterling turned two last year around Christmas we started trying to get pregnant.  I figured if it took 5-6 months again we would be due right when he turned three.  I got pregnant right away in January and I was shocked.  The whole time I kept thinking there is no way this was that easy this time.  No ovulation sticks, no timing or anything,  just bam I was pregnant.  I was ecstatic but in the back of my mind I just felt like things were too good to be true.  Mothers intuition or something. 

I had a scare at around 7 1/2 weeks with some bleeding.  I went in and had an ultrasound and it showed a cyst had ruptured but the baby was totally fine,  we were even able to see a heartbeat.  My Doctor (who I love) said everything was fine and not to worry but I still didn't feel like things were, and I was right.   A few days later I suffered a miscarriage- on Sterling's birthday of all days.  Can you imagine trying to pull yourself together to celebrate the life of the one child you love and adore while still mourning the loss of your unborn child.  It was one of the most difficult days in my life.  Thank god my family was in town to celebrate Sterling's birthday because they were my life savers.  My mom and sister brought over champagne and helped me pull myself together before all our friends arrived at our house for Sterling's birthday party.  I still remember it like it was yesterday.  I knew miscarriages were horrible but I never understood the extent of the loss you feel until I had one.  My heart goes out to anyone who has had a miscarriage. I bled for a good month, it was a painful reminder everyday of what I had lost.

It was a dark time in my life.  I was sad but hopeful.  I figured well lets wait a month or two and get right back on it, I will surely get pregnant again quickly.  I watched all my best friends get pregnant with and deliver their first and second babies while I still was "trying".  I kid you not 12 of my good friends including my sister got pregnant while all this was going on.  I was so happy for each and everyone of them but kept thinking when will it be my turn?  and selfishly I wanted to be pregnant the same as them so our kids would be close in age.  I had always envisioned my sister and I being pregnant at the same time, sharing our pregnancies and experiences,  but God had other plans.

And here we are today January 2013, a year after I got pregnant and more money spent on ovulation sticks then I would like to admit,  and I am still not pregnant again.  We have both been to a fertility specialist and everything looks good for both of us, no issues which makes this even harder.  Nothing to point the finger at to blame.  We are both totally healthy just no baby.   I have not resulted to fertility meds or anything,  just good old fashioned trying so far.  and not sure if I will result to that.   I never in a million years thought it would take this long for baby number two and now I am scared I might not be able to get pregnant again.  The fear runs through my head every day.  I lay in bed at night and this thought consumes me.   I want to be ok with one child, I do but I so want Sterling to have a sibling.  I am so close with my brother and sister and loved our childhood.  I want him to have that same companionship growing up.

So my journey continues.  This post is not meant to make you feel sad for me, in fact please don't.  I have a wonderful life and I am so lucky to have Sterling.  He brings me more joy than I ever thought possible.  I know there are people out there just trying to get pregnant with baby number one who have never even experienced having a child and I know that is more difficult than my situation.  It's just I know how wonderful having a child is and I want to do again.  It is the best thing by far I have ever done with my life.  

I wanted to share this for others who have suffered a miscarriage or have fertility issues to let you know you are not alone.  This happens to alot of women.  I don't know why more women don't speak more openly about fertility issues and miscarriages.  I feel like people keep all that bottled up and secret when those are the times you need support and encouragement the most.  My friends that shared their personal struggles and losses with me helped me more than anything.  So here I am letting it all out and in my heart I know this is the right thing to do.  Even if this post makes one person feel better or hopeful then it was worth it.

I hope 2013 will bring us a baby (say a prayer for us), I know it is all in God's hands and I trust his master plan.  But just think next time you ask someone that dreaded question you may not know what kind of struggles they are having. 

Now I am off to drink some wine because its the weekend and I am not pregnant so I can still booze:)  I will leave you with this quote that really helped me during my dark days.

xoxo

p.s- hope that wasn't too heavy for a Friday back to normal posting next week:)

A Day in Our Life : Summer Edition

If you are like me Summer hits and you are like what am I going to do all day with the kids?  I actually love Summer and having no real schedule, but the days can be so long!

I always love seeing a sneak peek in others lives so I thought I would share a day in our life. It has been awhile since I did one of these posts, last time I only had Sterling this time it's juggling two kids

6-7  \\ Wake up with Frances and feed her a bottle.  Now that school is out Sterling has been sleeping later which is nice.  I get a little one on one time with Frances.  After I feed her I proof read my blog and post it.

While I feed her I sip my hot lemon water.  I have basically given up coffee and just drink this in the morning now.  I read it has so many great health benefits. Plus is starts the day off right by re-hydrating my body.

7-7:30 \\ Three days a week I go on a run before Matt leaves for work, this way he can watch the kids because running with a stroller is hard!!  I have a 3 mile loop I do, I run a mile walk about a 1-2 minutes then run another mile.  I am still obsessed with these Zella Tanks, I ordered two more and they are all I run in.  They don't ride up at all and are not too tight.

Zella Scooptank on sale!  | Shorts | New Balance Shoes

8-9 \\ Get back from my run and I feed Frances and Sterling breakfast,  he is always up by then.  I also fix Matt and I a quick bite.  Lately we have been into hard boiled eggs, veggie sausage, avocado, and fresh heirloom tomatoes.  It is such a tasty and filling breakfast.  I have been trying to cut back on my processed foods and my beloved cereal falls in that category, so this is a new breakfast I am loving.

9- 10:30 \\ I put Frances down for her morning nap, turn on a TV show for Sterling and then I have a chance to get showered and cleaned up.

10:30- 1 \\ This is when I take the kids out to run errands.  Today we went and picked up my new contact lens, signed up for Fall Soccer for Sterling,  and hit up Trader Joes.  Then I try and squeeze in an activity that is fun for Sterling. I usually let him choose either the park, library, chick fila, pool etc.  He chose the library today.  It melts my heart that he loves the library so much because I am a huge book lover.  The library is such a great free activity.  He plays with the toys while I chill with Frances and read a magazine.  Then we pick out a few books and DVDS to check out.

1- 3:30 \\ Get home and put away groceries and then I put Frances down for a nap.  She usually naps about 2 hours. Then Sterling and I eat lunch.  His go to is PB and jelly,  he loves it and wants it everyday!  I made a salad today with leftovers from the Farmers Market.  I try to eat salads most days for lunch. 

 Sterling just recently stopped napping but I do still make him have quiet time.  He can sit in his room and play with toys or the IPad.  This usually lasts about 45 minutes then he is bored.  During that 45 minutes I quickly empty the dishwasher, start a load of laundry, and work on my blog.  If I have time I will start dinner prep too.

3-4 \\ Frances usually wakes up and is ready for another bottle.  After that I play a quick game with Sterling, today was Memory.  Then we all usually stroll around the block.  Frances rides in the stroller and Sterling rides his scooter.  If we have time we walk to the park near our house but sometimes we just loop around our block.

4-5 \\ Get back from our walk and I put Frances on her play mat with toys and let her and Sterling play while I start assembling dinner and get it started cooking.

5-6 \\ Bath Time.  Most nights I do bath time solo because Matt usually doesn't get home til 7 or so.    I have a plastic bath for Frances I still use that kind of hinges over our tub so I can bathe her and Sterling at the same time.   I have been loving this line of bath products called Weleda my friend and fellow blogger Jess recommended, I swear they have helped with Frances' eczema.

6-7 \\ Dinner for Frances Moon,  this week she is eating avocado, banana and butternut squash.  I feed her around 5:30-6.  Usually at this time I let Sterling watch TV til Matt gets home.  This is  when I pour a glass of wine if I am drinking that night (which is most nights haha).  I sip it while I finish cooking dinner and wait for Matt to get home.  Many nights we sit on the front porch and wait for Daddy.

7-7:30 \\ Feed Frances her last bottle and put her to bed.  Then Matt, Sterling and I sit down and eat dinner together.  I really think it is important to sit down and eat as family so we always do this unless Matt is working too late.  I made one of my all time favorite recipes Mozzarella Stuffed Chicken Meatballs.  They are so good.

8-9 \\ Get Sterling read for bed, brush his teeth and then Matt and I each read him a book.  After that we clean up the dishes.  I usually work on my blog for about 30 minutes.  I try not to work on it at night while Matt his home but during the Summer I have a hard time getting it all done during the day since Sterling is out of school and no longer naps.  Matt and I really don't watch much TV, but lately we have been into Anthony Bourdain's Parts Unknown show on CNN.  We may watch an episode of that and then get in bed.  It is also on Netflix if oyu have never watched it, it so interesting!

9-10// We get in bed and read and lights are always out by 10.  I love going to bed early.  Currently I am reading The One and Only by Emily Giffin and I am really liking it.  I always love her books.

Go to bed, wake up and do it all over again:)  I would love to hear any ideas you other moms have for Summer activities!!

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Lastly, local friends don't forget about the Pixie Lily Sample Sale tomorrow morning!!  Seriously the cutest baby clothes around!!  Now is the time to stock up and trust me the prices are amazing at these sample sales!!

Pixie Lily Sample and Seconds Warehouse Sale

Saturday, June 21st

8:00 am - 12:00

Layette and Toddler

BYOB Bring Your Own Bag

48 Society Street (corner of Anson and Society)

 

 

Life Lately

I hope everyone had a fabulous Mothers Day whether you are a mom yourself or were celebrating with your mom.  I was lucky enough to be in Charlotte for the weekend so I actually got to the spend the day with my mom! It was a special day.

I tried out a new juice recipe that is amazing.  After all the crap we ate last weekend I told Matt we needed some green juice each day to start our day off right.  I swear I have more energy the days I drink my green juice- may just be in my head but either way its extra energy!

We decided to add a jalapeno in per my sisters suggestion, she had just finished a juice cleanse and loved the jalapeno juice.  It gave the juice a perfect spice.

Just juice kale + spinach + 1 organic Fuji apple + 1 baby cucumber + 1 lemon + 1 inch piece of ginger peeled + 1 jalapeno seeded and sliced in halve

I have been wearing my tassel necklace from Furbish Studio nonstop.  I love it.

 \\ Tassel necklace also in light pink | yellow | blue

Miss Frances Moon finally rolled over.  Not gonna lie I was starting to get worried since we are approaching the 6 month mark, but she finally did it! 

We celebrated my soon to be third nephew this weekend in Charlotte with a baby shower for my sister in law.  I am so excited for my brother and her.  They will be such awesome parents!  

We snapped this picture before we left of me, my mom, and sister.

We didn't plan to all wear animal prints but somehow we did- great minds think alike.

Taylor's  Dress | My Dress

 

Here we are with my sister in law who is the cutest pregnant person ever.

I enjoyed my first martini since before I was pregnant.  My dad makes the absolute best martinis and he hand stuffs the blue cheese olives.  Pure heaven I tell you!

I admired my mom's peony bushes all weekend.  It has inspired me to want to plant my own- anyone know if they will survive and thrive in Charleston like they do in Charlotte?

Crazy story.  This week marks the one year anniversary of my grandfather's death.  You may remember the story of how my mom found a frog in her kitchen the day after his funeral.  Well she has not seen a frog again until this weekend Sterling spotted one on their patio. It looks exactly like the frog she saw on her table a year ago.  We all knew it was grandfather back to tell us he was OK (and probably sneak a peek at Frances too since he never got to meet her) we were all laughing and in tears.  

Sterling was so excited.  and yes those are Christmas decorations we cleaned out from my grandfathers house he wanted to keep.  I think that was probably the original elf on the shelf. Christmas in May!

Mothers Day we went to church which was nice but chaos with the three kids!

Then my dad took us all out to brunch to celebrate Mothers Day.  I had the most amazing lobster Cobb salad- I am still thinking about it.  It was from McCormick and Schmicks, and actually all our meals were excellent.

Ended the day thankful to spend it with these two precious babies.

I am one lucky Mama.

 

Have a great week!

My Top Ten Best Buys of 2012

With 2012 drawing to an end, I thought I would share a few of my favorite new finds this year.  From beauty to clothes these items all entered my life in the past year and I love them and can't imagine my life without them!

RAG AND BONE JEANS

I am obsessed with Rag and Bone Jeans.  They are my everyday jeans and fit like a glove.  I swear they have spanx in them because they suck you in and make your legs look like toothpicks.  This year I got the "Legging Jeans in Midnight" and the "Skinny Jeans in Kennsington Wash."  Both changed my life.  Best jeans ever.

TWO FACED 3 WAY EYELINER

This is the best eyeliner.  I have tried so many eyeliners it is funny, I am never happy with them but this one is different.  It goes on super easy and doesn't smear.  Always creates a precise line.

BREVILLE JUICE FOUNTAIN

This was technically a Christmas gift from last year because I exchanged a few gifts for it but I am counting it under 2012 because that is when I started using it.  This juicer has changed my life, I swear by it.  I am so addicted to starting my morning with fresh green juice.  It gives me more energy and helps me get in lots of veggies for the day.  It is easy to use and clean.  Hard to imagine life before the juicer.  Sterling loves it too and in the summer we use the juice to make Popsicles- added bonus!

LULULEMON WORKOUT GEAR

Quite possibly the best workout clothes ever.  I am hooked.  I wear them even when I am not working out (which is more often that I like to admit as of lately). They are the most flattering workout clothes.  They look chic for daily wear. The Run for Your Life Crop are my favorite pants.  They suck you in and lift you up- enough said.

JCREW SATURDAY PANT
In my quest to find the perfect lounge wear I came across these beauties.  The best lounge pants I promise you.  They are flattering and comfortable.  I like that they don't look like baggy sweatpants, they are cute.  Looks like they are sold out online right now but the stores may have them or I am sure they will restock online.

CHANEL VAMP NAIL POLISH
I am not one to buy alot of nail polishes.   I lusted after this Chanel for so long that I finally bit the bullet and bought it and I am so glad I did.  I wear it all the time.  Such a great nail color.  A classic to add to your collection.

GAP STUDIO SWEATER
In keeping with my loungewear quest I found this sweater from the Gap.  It is so soft and looks great paired with my JCrew Saturday pants.  Loungewear that you can wear out of the house and still look cute!  Double bonus they are on sale right now for $24.99!  I have the black and royal blue ones- love them!

HAPPINESS PROJECT/
JESUS CALLING
Both of these books are the perfect read for the new year.  I started the Happiness Project last New Year and it inspired me so much to clean out and organize many areas of my life.  Great tips on marriage and relationships as well.
Jesus Calling is a fabulous devotional.  Today will mark my final entry to read for this year.  It has provided me with alot comfort this year during personal struggles.  It is easy to relate to and easy to read.  I can't say enough great things about it.  I think I ear marked every other page I related to it so much!

MADEWELL PERFECT CHAMBRAY SHIRT

I had wanted a denim shirt forever but it was hard to find one that didn't make me look too butch.  I tried on many and this Madewell shirt is definately the most flattering.  It is soft and light weight so you don't look bulky in it.  I wore it all summer with shorts and now I have been rocking it with colored jeans this fall/winter.  A great staple for any closet!

ANTHROPOLOGIE ETCHED STEMMLESS WINE GLASSES

I am in love with these adorable wine glasses.  Stemmless glasses are always my favorite because you can put them in the dishwasher.  These make me happy while sipping my wine, always a good thing!

So, there are you have it, my favorite purchases of 2012!  I highly recommend all of them!

I hope everyone has a fabulous NYE tonight, see you in 2013!

xoxo

Natalie