Before I start into my favorite topic of Obsessions, I want to address something from my post yesterday. Several of you left comments not liking my post, saying it rubbed you the wrong way, and that really bothered me. I was not trying to make anyone feel bad.
I was not bad mouthing working mothers at all or saying your life is easier, in fact I said I am often envious of them and understand why many have to/choose to go back to work. When Sterling starts school more full time I plan to go back to work and for the past year I have worked part time in addition to my blog which is also like a job for me. I understand that it is equally as hard to be a working mom. Being a mom working or not comes with challenges. I was merely writing about a personal decision I made to be a stay at home mom and how hard of a job it was and the sacrifices made. I know working moms make sacrifices too, but I was writing purely about my own personal experience.
All of us moms need to stick together working or not. It is ridiculous to pit working moms against stay at home moms. We are all just doing the best we can to provide for our families and be the best moms we can. We each face different hardships each day. I was not trying to compare the two at all. I admire you working moms and meant no harm in my post and I am sorry if you took it the wrong way. My blog is like my personal diary where I choose to share certain aspects of my life, I never set out to offend people but I guess some read into things more than others. I respect all mothers working or not, it is damn hard job and we need to stop judging each other and support each other. Moms need to stick together.
Love to all you moms out there. ...............................................................................................................
First of all I need to mention Shopbop is having their Friends and Family Sale, use code INTHEFAMILY to get 25% off all orders. Several items from my list today are from Shopbop so don't forget to use the code at checkout! Now is the time to buy Rag and Bone Newbury Booties if you don't already have a pair they rarely get put on sale. I love mine, best boots ever and worth the splurge. Pretty sure I am going to go ahead and order my MOTHER jeans for post baby as well!
|| TOPSHOP CAMERA CHECK TUNIC DRESS ||
I was not bad mouthing working mothers at all or saying your life is easier, in fact I said I am often envious of them and understand why many have to/choose to go back to work. When Sterling starts school more full time I plan to go back to work and for the past year I have worked part time in addition to my blog which is also like a job for me. I understand that it is equally as hard to be a working mom. Being a mom working or not comes with challenges. I was merely writing about a personal decision I made to be a stay at home mom and how hard of a job it was and the sacrifices made. I know working moms make sacrifices too, but I was writing purely about my own personal experience.
All of us moms need to stick together working or not. It is ridiculous to pit working moms against stay at home moms. We are all just doing the best we can to provide for our families and be the best moms we can. We each face different hardships each day. I was not trying to compare the two at all. I admire you working moms and meant no harm in my post and I am sorry if you took it the wrong way. My blog is like my personal diary where I choose to share certain aspects of my life, I never set out to offend people but I guess some read into things more than others. I respect all mothers working or not, it is damn hard job and we need to stop judging each other and support each other. Moms need to stick together.
Love to all you moms out there. ...............................................................................................................
First of all I need to mention Shopbop is having their Friends and Family Sale, use code INTHEFAMILY to get 25% off all orders. Several items from my list today are from Shopbop so don't forget to use the code at checkout! Now is the time to buy Rag and Bone Newbury Booties if you don't already have a pair they rarely get put on sale. I love mine, best boots ever and worth the splurge. Pretty sure I am going to go ahead and order my MOTHER jeans for post baby as well!
|| TOPSHOP CAMERA CHECK TUNIC DRESS ||
I am so glad Topshop finally ships to the US. They have some fabulous pieces for amazing prices. Loving this dress, the colors are awesome.
also love it in this Floral Pattern as well.
I am loving plaid for Fall. This is such a cute jacket for everyday wear.
These pants are amazing!! I am dying for a pair of skinny velvet pants and you know the fit on these will be amazing.
|| DV DOLCE VITA JAXEN BOOTIES ||
Loving these booties and the price. They look really similar to the Rag and Bone booties. They have gotten rave reviews on every website I have looked at.
This dress is so awesome and the price tag is even better. It would be so cute layered with a fun vest, blazer or leather jacket.
|| AMANDA UPRICHARD HIGHLINER SILK BLOUSE ||
I am totally obsessed with this blouse. Perfect pattern and fit. Would look amazing with the leggings below.
|| DAVID LERNER CLASSIC COATED LEGGINGS ||
These leggings are a must. David Lerner makes the best leggings around. I have been on the hunt for a pair that looked like leather and these are perfection.
|| BAUBLEBAR PAVE LINKS BRACELET ||
Love both these pave links bracelets. They would look so good layered with other bracelets or solo.
Gold || Black
33 comments:
I am a stay at home mom and I often feel like I can't express how much In love it or I will offend working moms. We shouldn't have to walk on eggshells. Your post was your own experience and beautifully written. I agree that all moms should be supportive of each other and that it goes both ways. Love your blog. :-)
That Topshop dress is to die for! And I hate that so many people took your post from yesterday the wrong way... I'm not a mom yet, but I have friends who are stay at home moms and friends who are working moms. They both think the grass is greener on the other side.
First off you said nothing offensive at all!! You credited both working and sah moms! Your post was amazing, and so well written, I cant even believe you had one "not happy" commenter ;)
Now onto happier things like the shopbop sale!!! You have to help me narrow my cart down today, or I am going to be in trouble ;)
great round-up! i esp love that the bauble bar bracelet comes in mini sizes! xo jillian - cornflake dreams-
I didn't read the comments but I'm really confused as to what could have been offensive in your post yesterday. I used to be a FT working mom and after my second switched to part time so I feel like I've seen both sides and there was nothing offensive in your post whatsoever! :)
i dont think anyone said anything offensive??
I love those bracelets and those DV booties!
I hate that people were not happy with your post yesterday. You didn't do anything wrong; you just talked about your experience. I worked full-time for 6 months after my son was born. Now I work part-time/full-time as needed because our financial situation has improved but we still can't go without my income. I love that you're so personal with your posts and that you let us into your life. I really wish all us moms could stick together instead of dividing ourselves. We all work hard - period.
Natalie, you don't need to apologize for your words on your own blog...just like Caycee didn't need to the other day either. People are going to have their opinions and read into things the way they want to, no matter how you intended things to come across. That being said, I think that it goes both ways...I'm a working mom, and I'm envious of SAHMs...the grass is always greener, you know? There are pros and cons to both..and both can be equally frustrating, draining as well as rewarding. As a WM, I have to still get my house clean in the little time I have left at the end of each day, as well as the little bit of quality time I have with my kids, helping with schoolwork, getting dinner ready, etc...there is just a lot packed into those 3 hours at the end of the work day before my kids get to bed and it can be really stressful if I can't manage to get it all done somedays because it just continues to pile. I wish I didn't have to worry about bringing home a paycheck because I would have a lot more options for how to balance my time with work and motherhood. So while you don't mean it, these topics are sensitive to some women and spark controversy, so try not to take it personally. Again, we all have pros and cons...and we are all hard working moms...doing the best we can to support our little ones in every way. xoxo www.styleoyster.blogspot.com
Natalie, I think you are awesome! I am a working mother and I wasn't offended at all by your post. You were sharing your own personal feelings on YOUR situation on YOUR blog. I enjoyed reading it and found it to be thoughtful and reflective. As a full time working mother, I find it difficult to be away from my little girls so much, but this is my situation and so I accept it and choose to have a positive attitude about it. I think some moms who have to work find themselves being envious of those who stay home with their kids, which I find myself doing sometimes, although it isn't directed towards anyone, I simply would like more time with my girls. Being a stay at home mom is HARD work! Very rewarding, but hard work! I admire you and other stay at home moms. I also admire working moms. As mothers, I think we should all support each other and lift each other up...and I think your post did that. Thanks for sharing!
Natalie, you should not have to apologize for your comments and feelings about being a stay at home mom. I have been out of work due to the govt shutdown and my one year old has been home with me most days. Let me tell you, I could NOT do this full time so I totally respect you being one as well as other moms. You are in inspiration and I think you do a helluva job to deliver these amazing blog posts daily! Not to mention being preggars!! Some people need to stop being offended because unless they've walked in your shoes they don't know!!! Oh, by the way, Target has an amazing version of a plaid moto jacket as we'll! Check it out!!!
Natalie, I love your blog and have been a long time reader. I think it's absurd you felt the need to apologize for sharing your experience as a stay at home mother but even more absurd that other moms felt the need to shame you for it! I'm not a mom yet and I loathe the mommy wars. I have a friend who was recently able to make the transition from full time working mom to stay-at-home and she felt like she couldn't share her happiness over it because she worried what other working moms would think. I'll tell you the same thing I told her, God didn't allow this blessing in your life (it's a sacrifice sure but also a blessing you are able to live the life you choose for yourself and your family) so that you could keep quiet about it!
Loved your post and don't think you need to apologize. It's your blog and you can say what you want- people can choose not to read it if they don't like your personal stories. Stand strong and keep making those of us that appreciate your writing happy!!!
I'm not a mom, and I'm already sick of the SAHM/working mom debate! I didn't read your comments as negative at all. The only thing that kind of made me cringe, was you saying you don't take trips or have a larger house because you chose to stay home. I don't know your situation, but the little part of your life you put out there, it looks like if you cut back on your shopping budget, trips or a bigger house may be possible? I just think every household chooses where their money goes - whether it be clothes, trips, boats, whatever. I don't always think it's a working/not working situation. For my husband and me, no matter how much we've made (as salaries increase or decrease) we always find a way to blow money. It's just in how you manage it.
Thanks for being open and honest!
Bitches be cray! Don't let that bother you. I have been both a SAHM and a working mom...I just went back to work after our last and final babe. I was in no way offended by your post. You're simply keeping it real and expressing YOUR personal feelings and situations. Don't listen to the petty BS!!
Even though I don't have kids yet I was a little off-put by your post, but then I realized it was my own insecurities that were bothering me and you love what you do and that's wonderful and worth celebrating. Plus, no vacations really got me thinking about how we can cut back and save more. Lucky you, you live in Charleston, our #1 vacation destination :)
We are planning on having kids soon (God willing!) and I love my career and plan on pursuing it just as hard as I can. I know that will be fulfilling to me, and so I know that day care and nanny's will be part of the mix. There are really very few women in senior roles in the corporate world, but hopefully that can change and I can be part of that movement!
I love your world and I thank you for sharing it- you are fabulous in every way and so is your family. You are very brave for opening it up to the internet for everyone to see :) Love love love xoxoxoxo
Target has a pair of boots that look exactly like the Dolce Vita pair you mentioned!! And I'm loving that watercolor Top Shop dress!!
I looove those boots!
Agree that you don't need to apologize and you didn't say anything offensive. You were speaking from your own experience, which is all you have to go on! And every other mom is in the exact same situation. We all can only speak to what we know.
Natalie,
I love your blog so much. I read it every day without fail and it makes me sad that anyone would make a comment to you that makes you feel like you shouldn't be voicing your story on your blog. That's just ridiculous. Keep posting honestly, that's why so many people love your blog!
-Regan
I give a side eye to the mad mothers. Being a mom (working or not) is hard! I'm with you boo!
Love that Amanda blouse!
As a working mom myself, I just wanted to say I was certainly not offended by your post yesterday. I thought it was well-written and that it captured many of my own sentiments I had during the tough decision I made to go back to work full-time about a year ago. As mommies, we all have it hard because we are constantly being pulled in multiple directions and we do need to stick together.
BTW, I say all the time I look up to stay-at-home moms like no other. Kudos!
There are some people in life who make it their "job" to be offended about everything. Don't worry about those people, you can never please them ;) I work outside of the home and took NO offense to anything you said yesterday. This is your blog, keep up the good work :)
Natalie- One thing I have learned after 28 years of being a mother is that it is the most intensely personal experience a person can have. We all do it the best way we know how, and our children will usually grow up thinking they have the best mom in the world (except for years 12-18)because they know they are loved. I'm sorry to hear that other mothers felt it necessary to criticize your choices. Judge not.
I read through the comments yesterday and there were some interesting perspectives. I also read the link to the post you related to. I think people just walk around waiting to be offended. I have to work. Wish I could stay home full time with my little girl. Wish I could afford another baby, but daycare IS too damn expensive, and it should be...
It IS fun to be home with her. I've probably said that to my stay at home mom friends and perhaps I've offended them. I'm insanely jealous that they get to stay home with their kids. My stay home friends get to work out, have play dates, and plan a meal before 5:30 when their toddler is screaming at them, hungry and tired. But that is my view from the OUTSIDE :) I know being home is hard. I've said a good day at home with my daughter is better than anything, and a hard day with her (because she's sick, overtired, being two...whatever) is harder than any hard day at work. I feel like I never have time to do anything well. My house is in a constant state of half-way to clean and I run around like a nut. My best friend, who "gets" to stay home, says her life feels the same. So we just love and support each other. I think there are definitely days she'd like to put on "work clothes" and have a work day like I have to have everyday. And I'd like to get up and have coffee, snuggle on the couch with my daughter, and go for a long walk with the stroller, like she does every day. I wish more women could really "choose" whatever makes them fulfilled. For me, it would be staying home while my daughter is young. The choice is the part that too often is missing.
I enjoyed reading your post yesterday, as a SAHM of 2 lil ones 3 and under. I often times feel like working moms feel like SAHM are against them for whatever reason I don't understand. I'm sure both of us would like to be in the other's position every once in a while ;-) There seems to be so many articles, pins, posts, etc. about how hard it is being a mom these days...but I can only imagine how hard it was back in the day when 8-10 children per family was the norm?? I feel like moms these days bring a lot of undue stress upon themselves, me included, to do all those Pinterest crafts, join every playgrouo and have their kid involved in every music, sports, art class, and the list goes on. I am sure back in the day moms had way too much housework and too many babies to watch after to be preoccupied with the things we consider "important" nowadays. I don't think it's any harder now, we just make it that way. Just my personal thoughts :-)
http://www.tellanothermom.com/
http://www.ted.com/talks/madeleine_albright_on_being_a_woman_and_a_diplomat.html
If only we could spend our energy making it better for both sets of moms, and parents, in general!
I can't even imagine how difficult it gets when financial or health issues are added to the mix!
Im not a mom yet, but I do agree that moms need to stick together, and STOP judging what the other decides to do.
I feel that the SAHM always feels like they have to defend themselves as to why they are staying home. And they shouldnt! They often get asked, what do you do all day? or get comments like, MUST BE NICE. Which is annoying to me, because just because one is staying home, doesnt mean they live a wealthy life. It usually means they made sacrifices.
THEN, when the SAHM starts defending their title, the working moms get all wild up because they feel that they are being called NOT a mother. Which isnt the case.
I would love for women to support one another in their decisions. Lift them up. Ask for help. Ask advice. And above all else, Be kind.
I am a working Mom and I enjoy working. Every stay at home mom is my hero because honestly I don't think I could do it. I was not offended. I give you props. Every Mom has to do what makes them the best Mom for their babies and that's that. It obviously isn't the same for everyone but so what. We're all in this together!
I LOVE your BLOG. Hope you and the fam are well!
Natalie- You know I adore your blog! I feel sad that you tried to open up and be honest about being a SAHM and received criticism. This is YOUR blog and you should be able to use it as an outlet to be creative and speak what is on your mind. I have never once heard you utter something offensive, and after meeting you can tell you are wonderful, funny and a great mom!
-Kyle
Oh wow! I just got caught up on your lat two posts. Honestly is hard to come by, and I sure appreciate yours. I guarantee not many people out there would be willing to share financial hardship, you my friend are real. Oh how I wish I lived by you, we could be lonely weekend warriors together. Why are weekends so hard?! I think you are awesome and thank you for sharing your real feelings.
^^^last!
I read your post yesterday and I cannot see how anyone thought it was offensive, these opinions are your own, I see no fault in that. I am a sahm as well to 3 kids under 4. It is no easy task...I had every intention of going back to work when I had my first, but the second I held him all that changed. Now after 3 I do not know when I will return to work. I feel like I work harder at home then I ever did at a "real job". This mama thing is 24/7. I encourage you to keep speaking your mind on how you deal with being home. There are probably a lot more moms out there that identify with you :)
I am a working mother of 2 boys. They are 9 and 4. I didn't take any offense to your post... I read your blog daily so I feel like I understand a little of who you are where you are coming from. Honestly, I have some days that I think staying at home with the boys would be great. Doing things at my own pace etc.... Then there are those day, usually after a long holiday weekend(Ha), that I am so ready to go back to work!! Your a such a sweet gal... it show in how one negative comment prompted you to give and apology. Classy, so classy.
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