The Question Of a Third Child

I love this blog not only as a place to share things that inspire me and that I love but also as an outlet.  I find writing very therapeutic.  It helps me clear my head and center myself. 

Lately I have had thoughts of a third child on my mind.

This is something I think about a lot.  I frequently get asked are you done having kids?  Do you want more?  and my answer is honestly I don't know.

I have friends who immediately after they had their second baby said with certainty, I am done.  That's it. Our family is complete.  I don't necessarily feel that way.  I am almost envious of them to know with such certainty how many kids you want.  I am not sure if it is because I had miscarriage and so I feel I am missing that third baby or if it is because I grew up in a family of three.  But some days, most days I desire another baby.  I frequently think about that baby I lost and wonder if it was a boy or a girl and what our life would be like if there three kids.   I still yearn for and miss that baby I lost.

The problem is Matt is ready to be done with two.  He grew up in a family of two and thinks of the financial side of things and he feels two is enough.  He also does not like the newborn period with sleepless nights. And that is ok, I see his side entirely.  Me I think about 15-20 years from now I want a full house at the holidays.  I also long to experience giving birth again.  The two days my children were born were the best days of my life.  You can't even put into words what a true miracle it is meeting your children for the first time.  I think about how much joy the two of them bring me so why not add another.

Can I handle three?  Heck I don't know.  Most days I find just taking care of Sterling and Frances is extremely exhausting.  They are HARD.  Someone always needs something and I feel like I never quite get any time just for me.   I am wiped out and ready for bed most nights by 8.  They are a handful.  I feel like I have a good grasp and routine down for taking care of two.  We run errands and do things just fine alone since Matt often works long hours.  How would I get three kids in and out of the car? I would most likely need a bigger car.  Could I handle three kids alone??  Not sure.

Do I want to be pregnant again?  Not sure.  My pregnancy was ok with both kids, I had no major medical issues,  but the second time around took a toll on body.  From the bad varicose veins to being extremely tired while dealing with Sterling.  Could I handle being pregnant while taking care of two demanding kids?  Not Sure.  Not sure I truly want to be pregnant again.

Also there is the issue of my age and lets be real it was not easy for me to get pregnant with Frances.  Could I even get pregnant again?  I turn 35 this year so I know that equates to having a higher risk of having something wrong with my baby.  I also know that means each year that passes it is that much harder to get pregnant.  Ideally I would wait til Frances was three and have the same age spacing as her and Sterling.  But that would put me getting pregnant at 36 and delivering at 37.  Not sure that is even feasible.  Then what if I got pregnant with twins.  That terrifies me, I want 3 babies not 4.

Then there is the issue of worry.  I worry about Sterling and Frances constantly.  I am a hypochondriac and constant worrier often thinking the worst when things are just fine.   Would adding another child to the worry mix do me in?   Mentally it might- haha.

I wish I knew with certainty that I was done with two.  In all likelihood I will be done with two because I of course don't want to have a third baby without my partner on board.  But I wonder will I think about that third child for the rest of my life?  and always feel like someone is missing?  Who knows.  I do know I am beyond grateful that I was blessed with Sterling and Frances Moon.  They give new meaning to my life and bring me so much joy.  They are everything to me and that is what is important.

So maybe just maybe two is all I am meant to have. Two is enough for me. I plan to live in the moment and savor my two children not dwelling on what if I did or didn't have a third.   I trust God and his master plan.

Moms of two and three and kids would love to know your thoughts.

and because I could not stop laughing when reading these.

Seriously these are hilarious.

.

Thoughts on Thursday

Happy Thursday Ya'll!  

Currently on my mind.

My friends at Yosi Samra were sweet enough to send Frances her first pair of ballet flats.  They are seriously the cutest things ever.  She loves them too, she always hands them to me in the morning to wear.  For those curious Frances is in a size 5, I found as far as kids shoes run, theirs run on the small side.

|| Glitter Ballet Flats (they also come in pink)

I can always count on Trader Joe's for the prettiest flowers at the best prices.  I picked these up this week and love how they brighten up my house.

Loving my agate frame I got for Christmas too.

Can we talk about this cover-up?  Ever since seeing Julia from Gal Meets Glam in it, I have been convinced I need it for our vacation.  It sold out after she posted it but it is now back in stock in two styles.

|| Sundress Cover-up

You have to check out my friend Karina's jewelry site, Waffles and Honey which I have mentioned on here before.  I am so in love with my agate necklace.  I wear it almost everyday.  It is great alone or layered.  It is currently on sale and for all non sale jewelry you can use code DBDD20 to get 20% off!  She is running her winter sale right now so there are some great deals.

//amethyst slice necklace

I am wearing it here layered.

How good does this Crock Pot Ramen Noodle bowl look?  I am going to make to this soon.

I am obsessed with the new Maroon Five song, Sugar.  Not kidding on my run Saturday I listened to it on repeat. The video is awesome too.  You are welcome for the Adam Levine eye candy below.

I recently ordered this Micro-Dermabrasion scrub from Target after hearing such great things about it.

I am loving it.  I use it twice a week.  I just keep it in the shower and use it with my Clarisonic and I think it has helped slough my skin and brighten it up.  You can't beat the price either it is only $15.

|| Root No 7 Micro-Dermabrasion Scrub

I just started reading Still Alice and two days later I am almost finished.  It has really made me think about Alzheimer's and what a difficult disease it is.   Such a moving thought provoking book.

What should I read next?  Love ya'lls recs!

I am also reading Clean Eats.  It is a great book about resetting your body's natural balance filled with some recipes that look really good and healthy.

It has been super cold here lately but I took these two on a picnic to get out of the house.  I swear kids don't get cold like adults.  Either way they loved packing up snacks and eating on my $6 gas station blanket:)

Several of you wanted to know where to find the shirts I ordered Matt and I for Taco for night- 

I found them online HERE

Supreme Pizza Dip

With the Superbowl this weekend, trust me you are going to want this recipe.  I am a pizza lover, it is one of my absolute favorite foods.  I could easily eat it everyday.  Making pizza dip was a no brainer, I just had no idea how damn good it would be.  This is dip is amazing plus it takes like 5-10 max to whip together.   It really tastes just like a supreme pizza.  We served ours with pretzels thins which tasted fine with it but they were hard to dip.   You could also serve this with crostini because towards the end we just started spooning it on our pretzels.  The crostini might hold up better or try and find skinny breadsticks that would also be great!

Enjoy.

|| S U P R E M E  P I Z Z A   D I P ||

- 1 8 oz package cream cheese

- 1 small jar marinara sauce (i really recommend Raos)

- 1/2 cup thinly sliced mushrooms (I used baby bellas)

1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper

- 1/4 sliced black olives

1/4 cup sliced green Spanish olives

- pepperoni

- 1 cup shredded mozzarella

- sliced fresh mozzarella

- Italian seasoning

- crushed red pepper flakes

In a round baking dish spread the cream cheese on the bottom.  Layer with about half the marinara.  Then layer on half the mushrooms, bell pepper, olives and pepperoni.  Sprinkle with the shredded mozzarella.   Layer another layer of the marinara (I did not use the whole jar because I was afraid it might get too soggy but I used almost the whole jar).  Then layer on the layer of fresh mozzarella and top with the remaining olives, mushrooms, bell pepper and pepperoni. Bake at 350 degrees about 20-25 minutes til bubbly.  Let this sit out 10-15 minutes before serving too cool slightly.  Sprinkle with Italian seasoning and fresh crushed red pepper before serving.

If you don't have a round baker, these three options are great.  I use mine all the time for dips.

Valentine's Day Wish List

|| Cosabella Thong Set

I am loving these Cosabella Thongs.  They are so comfortable and a flattering fit.

 || DVF Adelia Flats

Simple Gold flats that would go with everything.

|| English Factory Pom Pom Shirt

I actually could not resist and already ordered this for myself.  It looks like the perfect white top for now and Summer and it is under $60!

 I  love the matching lace shorts too.  Such a cute outfit!

|| English Factory Lace Short

|| Splendid Sleep Chemise

I always love a soft cotton/modal night gown to sleep in.  Splendid stuff is always the softest.

|| Pave Heart Studs

These are such great everyday earrings.

|| Charlotte Tilbury Kissing Mini Lipstick Set

I have been dying to try some of the Charlotte Tilbury make-up products, I have heard nothing but rave reviews about them. This is a great way to try out three lip colors for the price of one.

|| Chanel Nail Polish Set

I would love this Chanel Nail polish set, Chanel nail polishes are my favorite.  I swear they last longer and the colors are so pretty.

|| Rebecca Minkoff Finn Clutch

Love the color and fringe detail.

|| David Yurman Ring 

This is a total splurge but i would love to own one of these David Yurman rings one day.

|| Joes Jeans Caged Sandals
I love nothing more than a good nude sandal.  They make your legs look so long and go with everything.  These are gorgeous and a great price.

|| Rory Beca Clay Dress

Great colors and fit for a casual dress.

Scenes From Our Weekend

My sister came to visit this weekend, and we always have so much fun together. I so wish we lived in the same city.

I started off the weekend with a fun girls night out on Thursday.  We went out for Mexican and enjoyed lots of chips, margaritas and girl talk.  My girl nights help keep me sane!

Outfit Details:

Cardigan | Tee Shirt | Jeans | Agate Necklace (use code DBDD20 for 20% off) | Gold Chain (use DBDD-LSJ for free shipping) | Purse (on sale) | Shoes in Nude  (on sale in umber color)

I snapped this picture of Matt with the kids before I left, they were so happy to see their Daddy.

This week Frances finally started taking a few steps on her own.  More like a drunken wobble but still so proud of her walking on her own. 

Always love having cousin Finley in town.  We did some bath time Mohawks for the kids.

Bathing three kids however was not relaxing!

Saturday we took the kids and went to Lunch at Lee Lee's Hot Kitchen.  My sister had never been so I wanted her to try it!  The brussels sprouts there are so good and we of course had to have a fun cocktail.  We also had the ginger beef and pork noodles.

This blouse from Finicky Filly has become one of my favorites.

25% off with code MUSTHAVE here

Getting crazy with the kids.

I made pancakes both Saturday and Sunday. Sterling is pancake obsessed.  Little tip I buy a box of the whole wheat pancake mix and add in mashed bananas or blueberries.  It is so easy and so good.

Spent Sunday morning cuddled with the kids.  They both love to be held and cuddled in the morning and I just want to savor these moments.

Sunday we ate lunch at Rolling South, right near our house.  It was pretty darn tasty- I definitively overindulged in the food department this weekend, time for a fresh start today!

Nordstrom is running their special on Clinque, if you spend $32 you get a free gift.   I don't use many Clinque products but I do love this Moisture Surge Cream.  I alternate between it and my La Mer.  It really hydrates your skin and feels so smooth.

Til tonight you can take 25% off at Piperlime.

Use code MUSTHAVE.

My top pick is these shoes and of course my size is gone. Someone else snag them with the dicsount!

||LF Leopard Flats

It's Monday. Word.