7 Years, Our Story and 7 Thoughts on Marriage

On Monday Matt and I will celebrate 7 years of marriage.  On one hand it feels like an eternity on the other hand it feels like that 7 years has flown by in the blink of eye.  We bought our first house together, welcomed two beautiful children, and Matt started his own law firm- so many major life changes in 7 years.

When I wrote my post about being uninspired several of you wanted to know more about Matt and I and how we met.   Here is our story.  

When I was about 15-16 I worked at a restaurant in Southpark Mall called Arthurs, Matt claims he remembers me from then taking his order.  I worked at the counter so I encountered basically everyone that ate there.   The funny thing is he actually worked at Abercrombie and Fitch around the same time and I remember him from working there.   I distinctly remember taking my mom in there to show her "the hot guy" working.  But don't worry he wasn't the shirtless guy at the front door ever.  During this time period we never actually met.  

Fast forward to college.  I was at UNC Chapel Hill and Matt was at UNC Wilmington freshman year.  He came to visit his good friend Ryan and we ran into them at a party.  We hung out that whole night and even shared a kiss.  He left the next day to head back to Wilmington.  We never exchanged numbers or anything.  4 years passed before I saw him again but I always stained my friends ears about him and how cute he was and how no one I dated I liked as much as him.  I dated 3 guys between this time period and none measured up.  Luck have it, senior year I ran into him again at Top of the Hill.  At this point he had transferred to Chapel Hill but I didn't know.  We hung out that whole night and the rest is history, we just kept on dating a good long 6 years til he proposed! Funny thing is I still vividly remember that first night we met back up and going back to his place to hang out.   I remember he and Ryan served me box wine in a coffee mug- so classy, haha the days of college!!

We only broke up once in those six years and the break didn't last too long, I honestly can't even remember now why we broke up!  We did long distance for 3 of those years while Matt was in law school in Charleston.  My job then allowed me to travel to Charleston monthly so it worked perfect.  I was old fashioned and didn't want to live together til we got married- of course I stayed with him while I came to Charleston to work.  Long distance is not easy but we saw each other often since the drive was only 3 hours. Matt proposed right after New Years 2007 at the Grove Park Inn.  I was totally surprised and the proposal was just perfect.  He had asked my dad's permission before and picked out the perfect ring.  We had actually browsed rings a few months earlier and this one was my favorite.  It was a vintage ring set in gold with three stones,  I still adore it 7 years later.

We got married September 15th 2007 in Charlotte at my church (Sharon United Methodist) and had our reception at The Morehead Inn.  It was the best day of my life besides the birth of my children.

Get ready for picture overload- I wanted to share a few of my favorite pictures from our wedding day. Excuse the quality of some of the pics I got too lazy to scan them and just used my phone:)

I adore these two pictures of my parents.  They look so happy:)  My dad made a big batch of kamikaze shots (his specialty) and we had the cutest monogram glasses made that we passed out with the shots in them.  This is my Dad giving the toast before our shots.

 and one of my favorite pictures of the night although it is missing Matt and my sister but I just love this pic of me, my parents, and my brother we are all in our own worlds!

Ok so lets talk about marriage.

Here is the honest truth dating is easy.  Being married is hard.  It wasn't hard in the beginning but after you have kids,  damn it is hard and it takes work and effort. Let me say Matt and I do not have a picture perfect marriage it is from that and I am no marriage expert.  We are constantly working on our relationship and have our fair share of fights- that is true life (for us at least).   But I do feel like I have learned a lot in 7 years about myself and marriage. I also feel like Matt and I are constantly working on our marriage and that helps.  Since we are celebrating 7 years I thought I would share 7 thoughts on marriage would love to hear your advice too!!

 ONE || Make sure your spouse is your best friend first and foremost.  If you don't have a good relationship outside the bedroom things won't last.  Matt makes me laugh harder than anyone I know and that is what I love about him most.  We can have a crappy evening and still come home and laugh about it.

TWO || Communication, this is key!!  You have to talk about things and talk often.  Express your wishes, desires, and wants.  There is a quote that says " expectation is the root of all heartache " and I think about it often.  It really applies a lot to marriage. We get ideas in our head of how we want things to be and if we don't express them how does the other person know what we are thinking.  

THREE || Intimacy is key.  I remember my friend telling me that her minister told them before they got married to make sure they kissed, held hands, or touched everyday.  It is little things like that keep you connected.  After kids we all are exhausted but it is so important to keep that intimate level of your relationship going.

FOUR || Make one on one time for each other.  Matt and I don't do a lot of date nights.  He works late many nights and on the weekends we either hang with other couples or the kids.  But we still try to spend one on time together.  We DVR shows we like to watch together (We loved Breaking Bad, House of Cards and now Anthony Bourdain) and do that after the kids are in bed or we pour a cocktail and go sit outside and catch up after they are in bed.  You have to connect one on one without the kids. and it doesn't have to be a fancy date night,  there are so many little ways to incorporate one on one time.

FIVE ||  Say I love you frequently.  Even though your spouse knows it, it is important to say those words.  I tell Matt this every night before we go to bed and every time we talk on the phone.

SIX || Compromise  This is really what marriage is about and makes it work.  You have to do things that make the other person happy even if it is not what you want to do.  Matt and I both have many different interests but we try and do things that make the other person happy even if it is not what we want to do.

SEVEN || Have fun.  Don't  take everything so seriously.  Life is short, laugh, and forgive easily.

and for a good laugh this Friday I loved these ECards:)