I got such a great response from my How I Do it Meal Time post and the Mommy Confessions, so I thought I would share a little insight into juggling life with two kids. I love hearing from other moms and how you manage it all!
Below is the low down on life with two kids, it is both easier and harder than I thought it would be.
BIRTH EXPERIENCE
The whole birthing experience was way easier. I think because my body had been thru it before it knew what to do. Pregnancy however was harder the second time around, way more taxing on my body. I felt like I was 90 years old towards the end, plus the varicose veins I got were horrible. Labor was much easier the second time and so was the recovery. I was in labor with Sterling 30 hours, this time was 4 hours start to finish. Recovery time with Sterling was a good six weeks, I bled a ton and I was in alot of pain down there. This time I took no pain medicine and the bleeding was much lighter and didn't last as long. Birth experience all around easier for sure.
DAMN HORMONES
One thing I forgot about after I had Sterling was the hormones. I was literally a crazy person for the first six weeks after Frances was born. I cried almost everyday. I know I had a touch of post partum- not in the sense that I wanted to hurt my children, I never felt like that at all, but just sad and overwhelmed. Around 5 weeks I started to feel like myself again. I did not take any meds but if you feel like you need meds afterwards because you are sad, totally go that route. Matt and I got into so many fights those first few weeks. Two kids takes a toll on a marriage, I expected him to do more but never communicated what and he just thought I was crazy. Since Matt works long hours I was used to single handily doing everything for Sterling but I quickly found I could not manage that with two. He didn't understand why I was so upset but then again do men ever truly get what we go through?? I forgot how hard the first 6 weeks were. You are happy not to be pregnant but its a whole different ballgame once that baby is out. New moms just know it gets easier after the first 5-6 weeks.
BOUNCING BACK AFTER
With both pregnancies I gained around 35lbs. I weighed in the hospital right after I had Frances and had only lost 10lbs- WTH. I lost another 10 in the next two weeks but the last 15 has been tricky as I knew it would be. Those lucky few who only gain 25lbs during pregnancy have it made. My sister bounced back so quickly after her son, that I thought I would too. I still have 6lbs to go to get to my prebaby weight and I really don't think I will drop it til I stop breast feeding or start working out hard. I know with Sterling by 6 months I felt and looked back to normal but for me the second time around is harder and longer to get back to normal. Not sure if my stomach will ever be the same though. I am more frustrated this time around ready to be back to normal but I know it takes time for your body to shrink back. With two the struggle is finding the time and energy to work out. I hope as Frances gets older and the weather warms up this will be easier.
NO TIME FOR ME
The biggest adjustment with two is there is literally no time for yourself. I have started showering and doing my hair at night just to have time to get it done. Mornings are usually too rushed to get it done and get the kids dressed and out the door. After I shower at night I crash in bed, I am too tired to even read most nights. I am on from 5:30 in the morning til 8:30 at night. and really even longer because Frances still wakes up 1-2 times a night. My body has gotten used to no sleep. I was beyond exhausted the first 3 weeks and then it just felt like the new normal. I can now function on little to no sleep. I have not been alone by myself in a very long time. I mean it has been four years since I was able to poop or pee alone- meanwhile Matt sleeps in and poops in silence. In my next life I am coming back as a man.
BREASTFEEDING
I had a hard time nursing Sterling. He never latched on right from the beginning so I had to do a mix of formula and breast milk from the get go. I lasted three months nursing him and then quit. It was too hard and my milk supply was too low. I was much happier after I quit. This time has been night and day different. Breastfeeding has been easy this time around- although I still swear it is the hardest part of having baby. You are always on demand and man do your nipples hurt. I nurse Frances every three hours now and we are on a good schedule. I only pump when I need bottle if I am going out. I have yet to introduce formula but plan to in the next week few weeks because I have some trips coming up. I don't know if I am just more laid back this time but I don't hate nursing like I did with Sterling. I know my milk supply is way better this time so that helps. The hardest part is dealing with Sterling while I nurse. He wants to climb all on me, punch my boobs, hit Frances in the face, anything to get attention because he knows it is my one on one time with Frances. That has been really difficult.
MANAGING TWO
Thank goodness Sterling is in school 5 days a week. It has been nice to have alone time with Frances and bond with her. But I do miss my one on one time Sterling. Now that Frances is getting a bit older and we can space out feedings I want to carve time out for just me and him. Something that surprised me post baby was how needy Sterling has been and the fact that he has acted out alot. He has become very sassy and talks back all the time. I find myself getting angry and annoyed at him and I have to tell myself to take a deep breath and realize his world has been rocked too. For 4 years he had all my attention.
WINE
Are you surprised I made this a category?? Wine has been my saving grace post baby two. It helps me unwind and feel back to normal. I got many snarky comments on instagram about drinking while nursing. I do not get drunk or drink more than two drinks (although really it is no one business but mine and Matt's how much I drink but dang people can be so judgmental). My doctor said it is totally fine to have a glass of wine or two while nursing. If I drink more I dump my milk easy as that. You have to find that small thing that makes you happy and for me that is good wine- oh I have turned into such a wine snob post Frances since I don't drink much. My 1-2 glasses better be damn good. Mommy ain't got time for cheap wine. Find what makes you happy and incorporate it back in your life- exercise is next for me when I find the time.
The new happy hour- bath time.
GETTING SHIT DONE
In order to get anything accomplished I must do it while Sterling is in school or while he naps. He still naps most days and if he doesn't he takes the ipad back to room for quiet time. I run all my errands in the morning when it is just me and Frances. Then at naptime I do blog work, emails and cook dinner. Once Matt is home usually at night I straighten up and do laundry. It is a juggling act for sure. While it stresses me out to the max to have unmade beds and toys everywhere, I have learned with two sometimes you just have to let it go. Taking care of the kids is first priority so if I don't get to that I can't stress too much. Now that Frances is older I am finding I have a little more time to straighten up and clean up. I can't stand clutter everywhere but with kids its part of life now!
Call me crazy but I already think about wanting a third child- but not anytime soon. I grew up in a family of three and like that number. Frances has been a doll of a baby and as hard as it is, I love being a Mom. It is my life now, my kids are my greatest accomplishment and blessing. I can not imagine my life without these two sweet souls. It is a new kind of gratification, love, and happiness I never knew existed. Matt only wants two kids though, so three may not be in the cards for us, who knows. Either way I am immensely thankful for my two children and family of four!
I loved the quote below something important for us all to remember. How do you manage your kids?
and a few of my favorite baby essentials:
60 comments:
As I enter into the phase of two children this post has been so helpful! We are anticipating the arrival anyday and its nice to hear real life!
I love this post, Natalie. Going from one to two was definitely a juggling act. Whatever you're doing it must be working b/c your children seem really happy. Hope y'all made it back from Charlotte!
I can relate to almost all of this. My little girl is 9 weeks old today. I'm used to the no sleep and constant on-call for breastfeeding, but it is hard. Amen to the sleep like a husband! That is truer than true. Thanks for being so honest! The first few months are just plain out rough.
Natalie, I really appreciate the honesty of this post. I have been a silent reader for a long time, but I could have written this post word for word, so I wanted to let you know it was appreciated. I have a 3yr old and I had my second daughter on 11/5. I can relate to so much that you have written...down to the veins the second time around (ugh). Thank you for the entertainment while I feed!
You know I can relate girl! The first 12 weeks with two is nuts! Just know it literally gets easier every single week. Gray and Colin now play together without me and I am able to get way more done. You are an amazing woman/mother and already doing WAY more than I did at 11 weeks! Love ya
Love love love this post! You seem to have such a nice balance of crazy chaos and fun nights out that you are blessed :) I have 4 kids--5, 4 and 2 year old twins so I feel ya! I work 3 days a week which is a real blessing so I have a break. I run all my errands on my lunch breaks during work and actually bought a Gigi New York planner based on your recommendation, I list 6 items each day and only concentrate on those so it helps with my stress if I can cross things off the list at naptime. I also only straighten up/do dishes for 30-40 minutes each night after the kids go to bed. It's hard to fit me time with husband time, etc. but letting go of worrying about the clutter helps. P.S. Keep drinking your wine and don't worry about the haters, you seem like a wonderful mother!
What a wonderful post! As a mother if a 6 and 1 year old I can relate to everything you have said. I notice my 6 year old acting out and it reminds me to make that one-on-one time. Thank you for sharing! Beautiful!
Love this *almost* as much as Mommy Confessions! We are less than a month away from the baby turning one and the four year old turning four and a half (we celebrate half-birthdays around here - especially because his is on St. Patrick's Day!). Hello, wine.
It has gotten easier in the sleep department with the baby. Once she hit six months we stopped feeding her at night and she worked it out if she woke up. Now we're dealing with the four year old thinking it's fun to come downstairs and sleep on the couch every night, but he has to make sure to wake mommy up before he comes downstairs. Baby sleeps 11-13 hours every, single, night. She's a dream.
Breastfeeding for me was much easier the second time around too - I work full time and pumped/breastfed her until she was 8 months, with him we were always supplementing.
People who judge about drinking wine must not drink at all! My doctor was totally fine with wine and breastfeeding. In fact, she encouraged it because it relaxed me, and a happy mommy = a happy baby. When I was home on maternity leave I typically had 1-2 glasses a night (sometimes 3) and would still feed her.
Same with birth experience - 27 hours with C, and less than 6 hours and only ONE push with M. Wowsers.
I work full time, but admit that I am completely spoiled because my mom comes to my house in the morning to watch the kids/get Collin off to school. She lives a mile from me and I couldn't do what I do without her and my dad's support. I hope to return the favor to my kids someday.
I still have 8 pounds to get to pre-baby weight and I'm 11 months in...oh my. I keep telling myself when the weather warms up I'll get back to exercising. I have to get that weight off for my 20 year high school reunion in August! :)
I swear we are living parallel lives, I'm just about six months ahead of you.
Love your honesty, Natalie! I'm not a mom yet, but am planning to try soon-ish, and this is really insightful! Thanks so much for being willing to open up...it is comforting and greatly appreciated!
What a great post! Amen to the wine, I think it makes me a better mom and wife at the end of the day :) You are doing a great job and I love your honesty!
love it! I'm still struggling with two kids it's been two years! ha!
Love! I literally laughed outloud about your man comment! So true! And good for you for having wine. I drank 2 every night when I was nursing too-anything to make you feel like an adult!
Specifically toward the wine section, I agree with you 100%. If we lived in Europe No one would ever bat an eye or question you. I have many friends who have done the same, and in the end it's not there business to judge. You Are doing a fabulous job juggling it all and I think that is amazing! thanks for sharing your thoughts it makes us mommy's feel like we aren't the only ones encountering the same stuff.
Holly
www.lovingallthis.com
What!? People gave you snark for having wine while nursing!? F them, seriously and totally agree with the comment above - if we lived in Europe no one would care or judge you for having a drink while nursing (or pregnant for that matter!) Every physician I know, including my Dad (a pediatrician) and my hubs are fine w/ a drink while nursing or pregnant. Anxiety/stress/fear/depression and the hormones they produce can be WAY more harmful to your baby than having an occasional drink.
OK getting off soapbox now...
I love these posts!!! I'm so glad you're finding your rhythm with two. Def makes it easier when they are spaced out in age and the older can do some things on their own. It only gets better and more fun! And girl, you look freaking amazing! It took me 5 years to get back to my pre-second baby weight.
Love, love, love this post!! Your honesty is so so appreciated. I'm not a mom...yet... but this totally makes me feel better somehow knowing in solidarity there are days that just suck for every new mom, but in the end it'll be worth it.
"I mean it has been four years since I was able to poop or pee alone- meanwhile Matt sleeps in and poops in silence."
Best. quote. ever.
Such a sweet way to close the post. BTW, I already loved reading your blog, and felt that you and I would be good friends, but after reading the WINE section I know we are soul mates from another life!
Such a great post!!
Love this post! I had my first baby the same day you had Frances. It has been a rollercoaster, but so incredible and worth it. I'm also nursing and drink wine every night. So cheers to us! The haters are gonna hate. Love your blog and your honesty -- thanks for keeping it real -- you're doing a great job!
Know you've got your hands full, mama! This is a great post that I will be able to look back at one day and surely agree with everything you said. Love that last picture the most. So sweet.
This. All of this. And, I promise it only gets easier. Especially once you supplement some! The more I worked out, the more my supply dropped. At six months, L completely weaned herself. But, I was just happy to EBF for that long since I also only made it three months with B. It seems like you are nailing it with how you allot your time. I need to be more intentional with how my afternoon nap time/quiet time is spent. In regards to the wine police on Insta, I'm not sure why some people use their time and energy to worry about what other people are doing.
I love your honesty! I can relate to almost everything you talked about, although I only have one child right now. I think I had a touch of postpartum depression after by daughter was born too. I cried everyday and was just sad. I'm glad I wasn't alone in that!
Great post about managing your family of four! Those who judge those who drink wine with a newbie a) don't actually have children or b) need a new doctor.
Love following your blog.
Lori
http://everydaylovelinessblog.blogspot.com
I felt all those exact things with my 2nd baby girl (I did have full blown PPD and had to do med's so thank you for telling people that its ok in your post - so many people judge) .... my girls are now 2 and 4 and while it gets easier, it also gets harder .... i think a 2yr and 4yr has been my hardest, most demanding stage so far. We also "wanted" a third but have put a hold on that because WOW this part is hard . . . but as everything it is all a "phase" right?! and I wouldn't trade being a mama for anything .... I LOVED THIS POST!!!
Loving your honesty here. I have a 10 month old and ultimately would love 3 children since I am one of three myself; but just like you I am not sure if it is in the cards for us. Its crazy how fast it goes. My baby was born 10 months ago but somehow it feels like she has been with us for much longer. Those newborn days seem so long ago. Enjoy your baby girl. Love following you blog!
Great post, Natalie. I totally agree with some of the other readers- whatever you're doing must be working because you have adorable, happy kiddos! And bravo to you for drinking that glass or two of wine- you're absolutely right- carve out whatever you need to get you through the day and put a smile on your face. I remember that my number one rule was- ALWAYS take a shower, every day! Made such a difference!
I can totally relate. It's a give and take. I go from exhausted & frustrated to blissfully happy, minute to minute. Thank goodness for wine and girlfriends… and sometimes husbands :) We ladies do it all, but ya know, we are better for it. Love these posts and sounds like you're a wonderful momma to those lucky babies!
Natalie - love this! We are going to start trying for #2 soon and I'm trying to wrap my head around how I will possibly manage two kids. I feel such chaos now, I can only imagine what I will feel with two. Thanks for being so honest. As for the wine -- clearly the people who gave you a hard time aren't moms juggling kids! Because the rest of us -- we TOTALLY get it. You gotta give yourself something to look forward to at the end of the day, right? I want to say thank you also for squeezing time in to always update your blog, I know it's got to be hard but I truly love reading it.
I really appreciated this post! I am due with #2 in April and I am definitely nervous about the transition and all of it. I really think husbands just don't get it the same way, so I am preparing myself for that inevitability. I am certain (from seeing other moms of 2+ kids) that it can only get easier as time goes on!! You are doing a great job...and I think you deserve the wine! ;)
That last quote sums it up! So true!
Great post! It really is hard adjusting for everyone when you have a new baby. I think the third child is easier because that time around the siblings have each other to play with while you are busy with the new baby. I hear you on the crazy after period! I started crying one day when my hubby suggested I take a break and go to Target, when what I really wanted was a nap! I mean, how could he not know that? ;)
Love this post! I'm 7 weeks away from having my #2 and this is both helpful and scary! :)
Also, I drank while I nursed my daughter and she is fine. I say drink up! Whatever helps you get through it.
xx
love, love, love this! i just had my first, but it's great to read your experiences the second time around, too. it gives you perspective. and it gives me hope that someday i'll be able to juggle two (or more!) also!
I love this so so much. Even not being a mom, or anywhere near mommyhood, I really appreciate the honesty and that you don't gloss over anything. All of this is very real and you should be proud to just roll with it...snarky comments and all. I 100% believe that for each of those lame ass negative comments you got, you will get 10x more positive ones. You're owning it sister. Much love to you and your lovely family. Happy V Day!
Thank you for this! I can totally empathize with you. I have a 12 week old daughter and 3 year old son and I am telling you, I live for my two glasses of wine at night!! It's hard work mama. You are not alone:)
I'm in awe of how you manage it all! And on the wine note...it's so ridiculous when people pass judgement! I drank wine when when I breastfed, because like you, it was the only way for me to really unwind. Everything in moderation people! Love your perspective on two...makes me excited for when that time happens for us! xo
Seriously, I'm a month away from having baby #5! Isn't that crazy? I love your honest insight. I love being a Mom but it can be hard for sure. You just have to enjoy the time they're at school and try to keep them napping as long as possible!! :)
It gets easier. I promise. My babies were 18 months apart and it was a nightmare at first but when they're older they will play together. It's magical!
Natalie - Great post! You are doing a fantastic job of finding time for all of it. I am entering the world of 2 kids in May and am very nervous with how it will all work, along with me going back to work practically full time. Everyone situation is different and we have to figure out what is best for us and our families. Very helpful to hear your experiences so far! I can't wait to meet our little lady (already have a 2.5 yr old boy)-she will be here before I know it! :)
I love this post! I'm a long time reader of Paweley's Island Posh and started reading your blog too a few months ago (and I'm hooked!). I'm extremely pregnant with my first and I've been hoping you would talk about weight gain, the first few weeks, etc. You look great by the way.
Thank you for your candor about the trial, tribulations, rewards and realities in handling/juggling life as a mother of two. I have a 10 month old and 6 year old and am all too familiar with the "not going to the bathroom by oneself" and how the husband has no clue about such things. I can't believe people would question your wine drinking; the audacity. I enjoy your posts and your fashion-sense. I finally purchased a Jcrew swing sweater in the pale grey. Very cute! And I got that RT silk front tee on sale. Great piece to add to the wardrobe. Lastly, are those Ugg slippers in the hospital pic. Always have looked at those but never pulled the trigger. Anyway, I truly appreciate you and your honesty.
Oh and wine. Please. One of my first purchases for the baby was a pack of breastmilk alcohol testing strips. At over $1 a strip, I'd say they are going to be worth every penny!
Okay seriously, I am exhausted just reading this post! I don't know how you do it mama! I think you are a fabulous mama and a great example for your two little ones...so you deserve a glass of wine whenever you please! XoXo
Love this post! I am a new mom of a 4 month old and I always enjoy reading about your pregnancy and thoughts on motherhood! Thank you for being transparent and keeping it real for everyone. It is so hard and yes I need wine too! The Lord is wonderful and children are such a blessing, but it's difficult sometimes to manage it all and I only have one! Thank you for being so candid about the good, the bad and all that is inbetween.
Love this post, Natalie. I am about to enter the Mom of 3 lifestyle and I know it will be a challenge. Of course too, it will be beginning right when school ends, so my first few months into it, I will have ALL 3 kids at home, ALL day. We don't pay for daycare at all if I'm not working. I am already planning on my 3.5yo trying to regress, because I know he will want attention. BFing was easier 2nd time for me, I did make it twice as long, though that still was not very long. I plan to do more this time. And wine is a must, and is totally OK while BFing...there are strips to test if you're that worried...and the good ol' pump and dump helps too! The body thing is harder 2nd time around too. I started working out right away and it was still challenging...that was the difference between 22 and 27, lol. I plan to start right away with this one as well...because I'll be 31 and ain't no metabolism getting faster! :-) You're doing a great job...don't forget to keep telling yourself that.
Love the post! It's fun to hear your take on everything. I am actually reaching out to you because I notice how much you do love wine so I wanted to introduce you to my brother and I's wine business - www.mywinedeal.com We deliver straight to your door, which is so convenient for a busy momma like you, and all of our wonderful wines are sold at a discount. Check it out: www.mywinedeal.com Please feel free to email me(steph[at]mywinedeal.com), if you like any of the wines and we can set up a 15% discount for you. Cheers, Stephanie
Thank you for your honest post and for sharing your real life. Your family is just adorable!
At least you don't have to work. I mean many moms work and have 2 children. They don't have the luxury of being a stay at home mom with an endless supply of time to blog about all the clothes she has ordered. Maybe if you spent less time online shopping you wouldn't be stressed about not having enough time to clean or with your son. I'm not really impressed, I mean you don't have a real job along with children. Your husband is the bread winner, so it makes sense for him to work long hours. Someone has to fund your compulsive shopping...
I am a new follower of your blog and am so glad I found you! I can totally relate to this post. I am also a mother of an older boy and younger girl who are 18 months apart and you really nailed so many issues right on the head (ahem wine). It is so reassuring as a mother and a woman to know someone else goes through the same things as you. Keep up the great posts although I have no idea how you fit the time to write them! :)
Your family is so beautiful! I hate people who have nothing better to do with their lives than judge others.
You are obviously a wonderful mother and your honesty is refreshing!
And Sterling will grow out of his "acting out" stage. I was 10 when my youngest sister was born. It was a HUGE adjustment even though I was older.
Love your blog! Alcohol milk strips rock! After my third daughter, my doctor prescribed me Jack Newman's Nipple Cream. Seriously, life changing!! I don't know why nobody tells new moms about it! I would swear like a trucker when my daughter latched on before this cream. Anyway, enjoy your sweet babies!
Hi Natalie!
I've been following your blog for the past 2 weeks or so. I just happened to stumble across it. I don't remember exactly how, but I'm so happy I did! I LOVE your blog!!!!! I am a stay at home mom with a 3 year old boy. Reading your posts makes me feel sane and that I'm not crazy! They're also very entertaining! I also love the fashion posts as I am a huge online shopper since I have no time to go shopping in person!
I honestly think you look amazing!!!!!!!!! You're doing a wonderful job!
I look forward to your blogs everyday!
I can 100% relate to everything you posted, especially the breastfeeding with two. I definitely had some baby blues after each of my children were born. I think you seem to be doing an incredible job! Your kids are lucky to have such a loving and devoted mom!
Great post! Especially for those new moms or moms about to have their second...a good does of reality. We have so many similarities! My baby is 4.5 months now and it is sooo much easier, I feel like I have a schedule. I gained 35lbs with both of my boys too but this second time around it is just not coming off as fast. You look so good!! I feel like I don't even recognize my body right now. I have just started working out so hopefully the last 12lbs will come off before spring!
I am pregnant with our second, and I love reading real feedback from people like you. Your openness and honesty is what makes your posts interesting! Thank you!
I love your honesty! I feel so many moms are afraid to put it all out there. No one is perfect and I am happy to admit this includes me; which my type A soul had to accept. And as you will find out, life gets easier with two day by day, year by year. My gals are 6 & 4 and hubby and I are really starting to enjoy some more of our new found freedom; especially with vacations. Cheers to you!
Thank you for this. I have a 3 year old daughter and number 2 on the way. Reading things like this make not only helps a person understand what's on the horizon but that it's all normal and not such a perfectly painted picture. People that paint that world yes maybe are experiencing it but most likely are just afraid to call it like it is and then it just makes moms feel super guilty they don't measure up. So thanks for the honesty and candor because this is exactly how I envision it will most likely be and I will be better as a mom because of it
That was so honest and helpful for this fellow new mom of two! BTW, I find it awful that there are people being snarky about wine and nursing. For the record, I'm all for it!
That was so honest and helpful for this fellow new mom of two! BTW, I find it awful that there are people being snarky about wine and nursing. For the record, I'm all for it!
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