Happy Thursday, it is time for a new installment of Mom confessions.
- Today is Sterling's 7th Birthday. I am not kidding when I say I feel like the last 7 years went by in the blink of eye. It scares me to think how fast the next 7 years will go by and then I will have a 14 year old. I still vividly remember checking into the hospital, laboring for 32 hours and becoming a mom for the first time. I was terrified but then when I held him for the first time I knew this was my purpose, to be a mom. Sterling provides me with so much unconditional love and has taught me the same. I thank God everyday for him. Happy 7th to my sweet boy!
- A few weeks ago Sterling called me to our back door and goes look out on the porch mom. He said do you see that animal? Sterling pranks me often so I was totally expecting a joke. It took me a minute to focus in and see he was pointing to a rat or very large mouse that was chilling on our play kitchen set on the porch. The next day I saw two large mice- now I am now officially freaking out. I called my next door neighbor who helped me set up traps and rat poison. I was too scared to even set foot on the porch for a week. I later found out Sterling and his friends had been making potions with water and my spices and that was attracting the mice- yikes!
- Potty training sucks. I should have known Sterling was so easy and Frances has been difficult. She is pretty good about going tee tee in the potty but freaks about pooping. She will bring me a diaper when she needs to poop and ask me to put it on her, then she will walk away and go poop. If I ask her to poop in the potty she screams and runs away and hides.
- Sterling recently had some allergy testing done and we found out he was basically allergic to everything. His allergy doctor said allergy shots were really the best option for him since he had such an extreme reaction to so many external things. I took him in last week for his first shot. He basically turned into the exorcist. The first nurse came in and tried to give him the shot and he was screaming and flipping out so badly they called in a second nurse to help hold him down. He then starts hitting and kicking and no one is able to pin him down because he is so erratic. Then the head doctor walks in and tells me he will not be receiving allergy shots because he is too immature and a threat to her staff. At this point I am crying because no one wants to see their child acting like Sterling did. We left but he still really needs shots- anyone have advice for getting kids to calm down for shots? Bribery does not work:)
- Frances screams every time I brush her hair. Like even if I barely touch her hair or just put a bow in she screams as loud as she can and says I am hurting her. She acts like I am torturing her in the worst way possible. I dread doing her hair in the morning and many times after I do it she rips out the pony tail or bow. Is this normal and do kids grow out of this????
- Frances keeps telling everyone she is going to have a baby and that baby Jesus is in her tummy. I think playing Mary in the school Christmas play got into her head- haha. Last night she told me I was gonna be a grandma soon:)
- Sterling's made this Valentine's card for me. I love that I look like Britney Spears. He said he put me in workout clothes because I am always in workout clothes. If only my workout clothes looked like that and I looked that good in them:)
- My kids love lunchables and Spongebob. It makes me think at some point I have majorly failed as a mom.
- I am fully addicted to Parenthood. I feel like I am a Braverman at heart. I also now want to have two boys and two girls so I can mimic their family life. The best show ever. Craig T Nelson reminds me so much of my dad in so many ways.
- Yesterday I took Sterling and his best friend to see the new Batman movie as a birthday treat. It was dark and I was so tired and I immediately fell asleep and slept through half of the the movie. Not gonna lie it was nice to take a nap during the day.
- Speaking of legos, I throw them away all the time. If I step on one and find them loose on the ground they are trash. We have way too many legos.
- Frances only wants to wear pink. If I bring her an outfit that is not pink she starts crying and saying it needs to be pink. Who knew the dressing struggle would start this young.
- As soon as I clean the den and pick up all the toys everywhere it never fails Frances will decide the one toy she needs to sleep with is buried at the bottom of the toy bin. She then dumps all the toys out to get to that single toy.
- I recently found out when I was asking Sterling to clean his room he was throwing everything in his dirty clothes hamper- clean clothes and all just so the floor looked clean. I was like this is not gonna fly. Not sure why it is so hard for him to put his clothes away but the struggle is real. He also never closes his dresser drawers and that drives me nuts!
Happy Thursday! I would love to hear any of your mom confessions to make me feel like less of a weirdo:)
43 comments:
My five year old is just now starting to calm down about hair brushing. She got a wet brush for Christmas and that has been a game changer. It also helps that the brush is hot pink!
My friends came over and I opened my fridge and exposed my 12 pack of lunchables we buy at Sam's. I know they are terrible but it is easy and my son will actually eat them!! And I add a bag of chips and some gummies. I'm like Honey Booboo when it comes to feeding my kids.
Is Frances my daughter? We are in the thrones of potty training and it is driving me to drink (unfortunately I am preggo). On top of that, every morning is a struggle because she only wants to dress as a Princess, aka only wear dresses. The teenage years are going to be a struggle :)
I am also obsessed with Parenthood. I just started watching it about a month ago and just started season 5. It's just so realistic and sweet. We had major issues potty training with poop with my oldest. It started to become a control thing and I hated it. We had to finally force it on him and took EVERY single toy and he only had a few books. Every time he went he'd get a basket of toys back. It was awful but it worked. He was 3.5 though.
Hospital social worker here --- most kids carry on because the parent is in the room. Find a practice you feel comfortable with, explain ahead of time he has a fear, and leave the room ! The Dr. And staff ( highly recommend a pediatric practice) should fill him in on what's happening and make him feel okay about what's going to happen. They should explain the benefit of the shots on a very basic level and how doing them will allow him to do things he loves to do with less discomfort.
Natalie, my older daughter was the worst with hair and dressing. She refused to wear dresses and about a million other things. Now that I have another daughter, she is the easiest. Thank God. Its not you it's them LOL!
The wet brush was our life saver too - for both my girls! And my 4 year old pretty much has a meltdown every day because she wants to wear a dress every single day. I finally did a chart for the days she can wear a dress. Has helped a lot. :)
Your eyelashes in that drawing look FABULOUS! haha
My kids loves lunchables and Spongebob too! You aren't alone.
Also, my daughter has really curly hair and the hair brushing was awful. She did grow out of it and now brushes it herself. Wet brush is great and we use this spray that works well. https://www.amazon.com/SheaMoisture-KIDS-Extra-Moisturizer-Detangler-Hibiscus/dp/B00DZGA1H8
I love love LOVE Parenthood. I have watched the whole series twice now...obsession much? iPad is my crutch. I use it to workout and when it's 3pm and I still have work to do, but my daughter is playing the "ask Mom a billion questions" game. At least I downloaded the ABC Mouse app?
Loved this post! Hilarious! My daughter screams when I do her hair, too. We use a wet brush and a detangler so I've gotten to the point that I bribe her with a piece of candy at the end if she will let me brush her hair without screaming. Which she totally does so clearly the screaming is just to torture Mommy! :- )
Natalie: I feel you on most of this. My daughter is 2 yo and she has recently turned CRAZY and acts the same way with regard to brushing of hair, bathing, eating and diaper changing---soo, everything.. I tried timeouts for the first time this past weekend and she now thinks it is a fun game so she is being even more naughty on purpose with antics like spitting milk in my face and cackling, saying how funny she is. My confession is that I am going through a divorce and she spends every other weekend with her dad and at first I dreaded it and now...not so much. Terrible, right? :)
I had the same potty training issues with my little girl and was gifted this book. It actually worked.
https://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops-My-Body-Science/dp/192913214X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487256326&sr=8-1&keywords=everybody+poops
Best of luck to you!
My kids are 9 and 15, and their entire lunch at school consists of prepackaged items. I go to the grocery store every Sunday, and buy 10 Lunchables. My son is in the 10th grade, and he has eaten the same flavor of Lunchable every day since kindergarten. Neither of my kids will eat cafeteria food, and I don't blame them! I am sure the teachers are horrified at what I send for lunch, but both of my kids and tall and thin, and in great shape. I'm not going to stress over it.
I have two suggestions for FM: 1) Re: potty training - my oldest had the same fear of pooping during potty training. The way I got her over it was to cut holes into the bottom of pull-ups. We told her they were her special potty panties that she could wear only when she had to poop. She had the comfort of wearing the pull-up, but when she would sit on the potty and actually go, it would fall right through into the toilet bowl. We would make a deal out of it and act so excited for her. It eventually helped her get over her fear of going in the potty. It's certainly worth a try! 2) Re: hair - I have three girls and all have had fits at times about having their hair brushed. I try to distract them with letting them brush their teeth (or attempt to) while I brush their hair. I also dampen their hair a bit and use either the Wet brush or Knot Genie. I personally like the Wet brush better. Hang in there...things will get better!
OMG! I feel your pain! The mom struggle is real sometimes. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Every time my one year old makes the tiniest peep, my son screams at her as loud as he can which then results in a louder cry from my daughter. We have tried saying "no, mama doesn't like when you do that." We have tried timeout. We have tried distracting him. Laughing like crazy people. And nothing works. It feels like I've already done something wrong and it's a daily struggle.
Thank you for sharing your mom confessions! It's so easy to forget you're not alone and think your kids are the only ones with problems. Always love reading your blog :)
My brothers and I all got allergy shots when we were younger and they helped tremendously! Maybe give it 6 months and try again? It might help to have someone there so he can be the "brave one". Like Frances or a friend. Just a thought!
The ENT I work with does allergy sublingual drops instead of shots. They work exactly the same way but are just drops under the tongue. Maybe someone does this in your area? It's worth looking into! Hope it gets better!
The ENT I work with does allergy sublingual drops. They work just like shots but are drops under the tongue. Maybe someone in your area does this? It'd be worth looking into! Hope it gets better!
I also highly recommend a detangler and Wet brush, and maybe let her brush it first? That's what I do with my kids, but they are a little older. When my youngest was 2, she refused to wear pants and anything with black on it, like she would start crying if I even suggested she wear one of those items. I picked out 2 different outfits each morning, and she got to pick between the two. That system worked for us. She is five now and way less picky about her clothes. My kids love Lunchables as well. I cook a lot and mostly healthy, like you, so I don't sweat the occasional lunchable. I feel like I ate way worse things in my lunch as a kid. I agree with the comment above about Sterling and the shots. He's less likely to act that way if you are not in the room, and instead of bribing to not throw a fit, have consequences in place for that behavior, like taking away a beloved toy for a while, no TV, etc.
We are having the same issues with potty training too. My son will go "tee tee" in it all day but pooping is not happening in the potty. It is driving me crazy!!!!!
I really enjoyed reading this because the struggle is real and you are so not alone. I have days like this all the time. With a 2 and 1 yo boys, there's always something crazy happening. Potty training sucks! My 2 yo pooped on the floor the other day and thought it was ok because he saw the dog do it, best part was the 1 yo was picking up the turd to eat it. WTH! Food is constantly thrown at my face during mealtime, they only want Mac n cheese or Waffle House. They already pitch a fit if they can't where certain clothes. My son told someone the other day, that his Mother was a "hot mess", sold drugs (I'm a pharmacist) and that we were homeless. Seriously I can't make this stuff up. While most days it is such a joy being their Mother, other days all I can do is laugh and drink lots wine to keep from crying hysterically and going crazy! It is the hardest yet somehow most rewarding job of all. Hang in there! You are a remarkable mother and they love you! Just remember, these times too shall pass and drink lots of wine surrounded by great girlfriends!
You should look into NAET for Sterling, it is pricey, but it works and does not involve shots.
My son (who will be 7 in May) was the same way with shots. I explained to him that even superheroes have to have shots to stay healthy, and then told him that his favorite superhero gets them, too. Then I pulled up some pictures of the superhero on my phone and let my son scroll through them while he was getting his shot. I'm pretty sure that he just pretended that he was the superhero getting the shot. He still doesn't like shots (what kid does?) but he is significantly calmer now. I think distraction is the name of the game. As for the hair brushing, my four year old daughter acts like I am murdering her every time I bring a brush near her. It's totally normal (at least that is what I tell myself).
First-wet brush.
Second-Amelia was the same with potty training. Finally tried Miralax and lifesaver. It was bc it hurt to go #2 (constipated). Miralax is a stool softener. Ask her Pediatrician. You will be tally you did.
Third-happy birthday Sterling!
I love your mom confession post. It makes me feel like I am not alone.
1. I was afraid you were going to say it was a gator, I'm actually more terrified that it was a a rat/mouse. We've had a bit of a mouse issue this winter and I didn't do laundry in the basement for a week!
2. Can he take allergy medicine? I did that as a child (a lot of difference meds) rather than the shots.
3. My daughter also hates ME to brush her hair. She'll do it for her father though. I'm praying it's a phase.
Thanks for always sharing!
Julie
My oldest daughter has been telling me what she didn't want to wear since she could talk, which for her, was extremely early, like 18 months old and she was speaking in full sentences. I felt like I really missed out on dressing her up because she HATED everything I picked out. But honestly, she and I have really different styles, so I guess it just took me longer to realize that. She also refused to wear panties. The only thing I could get her to wear was swimsuit bottoms. So she would grow and I would be searching the stores for swimsuits in December. And even then, I would catch her without anything on under her clothes a lot of the time. My husband once took her bowling (she was wearing a dress) and came home and said, "Well, Kate's not wearing panties today. :)) Fast forward to now, she is 18 years old and it seems like every single time I take her shopping and we are in a dressing room together, she takes off her jeans and she is as bare as the day she was born. I asked her to please tell me that she at least wears panties under dresses and she acted totally offended and gave me a very enthusiastic yes! And I said,"Praise the Lord!" That was a relief. Also, my kids grew up watching hours of sponge bob and I promise, except for the panty thing, they all turned out just fine.
I am not married nor do I have plans for children, but your blog - and this post! - makes me think I need to find mom friends!! This post is so awesome, and your ability to find humor in your mom struggles is admirable.
If I were a mom, I would totally say, "what would Natalie do?".
All the best,
Polished Pauper
Oh man this made me laugh and want to cry all at the same time because I have so been there! Ok so Mom confession...I completely refused to give my son a diaper when he was potty training during the day and he didn't poop at all for like 3 days! It was terrible and his stomach hurt so bad so I finally gave him a child laxative. I think it was miralax! The kind that is a suppository and you have to put up their booty. It made him go poop because his only option was to go on the potty. That was our breakthrough moment! Once he went I jumped up and down, screamed yay, and gave him candy!! He was so proud and excited that he went on the potty from then on! I have no suggestions about any of the others but I offer you lots of sympathy and feel free to have extra wine! You deserve it! :)
Oh and I second the Wet brush! It is like magic on my son and my daughter's hair!!! Genius invention!
Yes! NAET is amazing! My daughter and I have both done it. We treated dairy and gluten on her and it worked! She can now have them without side effects. It works on outdoor allergies as well.
My now newly 6 year old has gotten 3 allergy shots a week for years. It so tough. Buzzy the bee was a life saver for us. The docs office ordered it and it's vibration distracted him and the ice pack made him numb. Worked so much better. Good luck. If you don't have a wet brush run. Do not walk to the nearest one.
Buy some detangling spray and a wet brush for Frances hair.. this may sound gross tell her to poop in the potty so she can feed the "fish" in the water! Wow, can't believe the doctor said that to you about allergy shots. They have to tie down my 9 year old for vaccines 😱.
For the hair brushing try a wide toothed comb and we use the Honest hair detangler - it's a lifesaver! I'm having the same issue with tantrums except it is every time I take her somewhere that she has to sit still (playgroup, restaurant, family functions). This has just started by it made me almost want to cry that my baby acted this way. I'm thinking play group until she starts acting better? haha best of luck to you!!!
For the hair brushing try a wide toothed comb and we use the Honest hair detangler - it's a lifesaver! I'm having the same issue with tantrums except it is every time I take her somewhere that she has to sit still (playgroup, restaurant, family functions). This has just started by it made me almost want to cry that my baby acted this way. I'm thinking play group until she starts acting better? haha best of luck to you!!!
I feel for you. My second child (I wonder if there is something to do with birth order?) was a bear to potty train. Combine a stubborn and anxious child with constipation and you have a very difficult situation! We had to end up going to our local Children's Hospital "Potty School". Pushing her only made her push back harder, and no amount of bribes worked. She also will only eat lunchables at lunch (that's the only thing she'll eat at school), and I've ended up just letting her brush her own hair. I've definitely decided not every battle with her is worth picking. I echo the recommendations for detangler, leave in conditioner and wet brush. You are not alone- it sounds like a lot of us are in the same weeds with our kids.
I let my kids eat ALL their Valentine's candy right after school. I just didn't want to fight the battle that usually lasts for days. Then I took them on a golf cart ride and made them run! Sometimes my kids do better with shots if I tell them to be brave for their younger bro/sis and to show them how to be strong. Love this whole blog!
Thank you, Natalie, for another Mom confession that I can relate to! My daughter turned 3 in Oct and is very similar to Frances Moon. She has gone tee-tee on the toilet by herself months but refuses to poop. She hands me a diaper, I put it on, she stands in the bathroom to poop, walks out and I change her back into underwear. Honestly, I'm OK with it. It's much easier (and faster) to deal with that at the mall or restaurant then a meltdown over sitting on the toilet. A few months ago I tried to force her to use the toilet by refusing to give her diapers and she held it in for 4 days until I finally broke down and gave her a diaper. I was worried her bowels would get impacted! I keep telling myself that she won't go to kindergarten in diapers and one day she'll just announce that she's ready. We have the tooth brushing tantrums and hair brushing meltdowns too. Using the wet brush with de-tangler while she watches tv or the ipad has reduced the times I need to chase her through the house. Hang in there! :)
I told my therapist that my kids are always hungry and eat non-stop. Then they throw fits if I won't let them get whatever they want out of the pantry. She said "what do you give them for snacks?" I was like "well, chips, crackers, cookies, candy....you know, the usual kid snack stuff." (I spend $150 every few weeks at Costco just on "snack" stuff for the kids--granola bars, chips, etc.). My therapist said "maybe you should actually try giving them something with protein that is more healthy for them.....:/
#momfail
I can't believe the doctor would say that! I get so upset by doctors that don't understand a child's fear of shots (it's TOTALLY normal!) Avery does the same thing with her clothes. We have to go through her hamper and try to learn how to hang and fold clean clothes up, the struggle is real!
I always used the wet brush and detangler, but my 3 year old would lose it when I tried to brush her hair in the morning. What finally got us through it is I would let her spray the detangler on the brush, I would spray it on her hair, then we would make a deal that I could brush it 10 times and she had to count them. Then I worked as efficiently as I could, trying to maximize each brushstroke, without yanking on her hair. Usually I could get it done (well enough anyway) in 10 and sometimes she would miscount so I was able to get in a few more. Got her hair halfway presentable and worked on our counting! Now, at 4, she doesn't love it but she (usually) cooperates. :)
Your doctor is a prick. Find another one. That makes me so SO angry that they treated Sterling that way! I mean -- he's not the only kid who is terrified of being touched. Something similar happened to my daughter who needed an ultrasound. The tech asked me "what happened to her?" She also fears her pediatrician, who understood. That's the point. My daughter also freaked out at the dentist - like almost convulsing and the dentist understood.
Please don't go back to them. I'm so sorry you and Sterling had to go through this.
OK.... I am a little embarrassed to share this shot trick, but my best friend is a pediatric dermatologist and her trick for getting kids to calm down when getting shots is that she bought a vibrator in the shape of a bumble bee... :)!!!! She gives it to the parent to hold against the skin somewhere other than where the shot is being given and it distracts the kid. It looks like a kid friendly bumble bee, and I am sure you find something similar that is not an "adult toy" but the idea sounds pretty good!!
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