Thursday, June 6, 2013

The Gift of Siblings



Now that I am pregnant the most frequent question I get is are you going to find out the sex of the baby?  Immediately followed by what would rather you a girl or a boy? 

I am most definitely going to find out the sex, I am a type A planner and I want to know what is going to come out of me in 5 months.   I like to decorate and shop way too much not to know.  I have no idea how people can wait nine months to find out!
As for the second question if I am being honest, all I want is a healthy baby, I could care less if it is a boy or a girl.  Most people say to me " I bet you are hoping for a girl, since you already have a boy."  It got me thinking did any of you have a preference what you wanted your second child to be?  Same sex or one of each?

Truthfully when I was pregnant with Sterling, I was secretly hoping for a girl.  I was actually convinced it was a girl and was shocked when we went for the ultrasound and they said "look there is the penis".  I was like what???  It took me a few days to accept the fact that I was indeed about to have a boy.  I am such a girly girl and I am so close with my mom and my sister I wished for a girl for that reason.  I wanted to have that same bond.  I had the girl stuff down, I love to dress up, paint my nails, shop, read fashion magazines,  all things I pictured doing with my daughter.   I was young and clueless about the world of babies.  I had no idea how much I could or would love having a little boy.

Then Sterling was born and he changed my life.  I never for a second looked back and wished that he had been a girl.  The moment I laid eyes on him for the first time my heart melted and I fell in love instantly.  There is just something so sweet about boys.  Being the mom of a little boy is the best thing ever.  Yes everything they say about boys is true, they are dirty,  sneaky,  pee everywhere, spill food everywhere, track dirt all through you house, bring bugs inside, snore, and are loud and smelly- all typical boy stuff.  But it is also true they also love their Moms more than anything.  Sterling is 100% percent a Mama's boy and I love it.  He always wants to hug and kiss me and cuddle and it just warms my heart.  There is nothing better than being a mom to boy.  I have fully embraced spiderman, batman, dinosaurs, cars, and sports plus I am pro at shopping for boy clothes now.  I adore having a boy and all the things that come with it. 

As for our next baby, I promise all I want is a healthy baby because that is the biggest blessing of all.  I see pluses to either sex.  I want a boy because I would love Sterling to have a brother.  I sometimes feel like same sex siblings are closer.  A boy would also be easier, I have so much boy stuff already and I have this boy thing down, plus I would be the only woman of the house.  Sterling insists there is a boy in my belly and whenever we ask him if wishes it were a boy or girl he says boy.   But I want a girl for the same reason I wanted a girl with Sterling.  As they say a daughter is a daughter for life and a son until he meets his wife.  Girls are so much better about calling their moms and staying in touch.  Plus not gonna lie I love all the little girl clothes it would be fun to shop for girl stuff.   This time around I feel like it a win win no matter what I have.  I am just so thankful for this pregnancy and can't wait to have another baby boy or girl.

Here is one thing that scares me with the next baby- I wonder how in the world I will ever love it as much as Sterling.  Will Sterling always be my favorite?  I just can't understand how I will love another child like him.  Your firstborn is just so special.

We should find out in about 3-4 weeks what we are having so humor me and take a guess do you think we are having a boy or girl?

Also if you have not read the article in the NY Times "The Gift of Siblings"  floating around, please do, it is so true and an excellent read.  I am so blessed to have my brother and sister and no matter what sex this baby is I am so excited to give Sterling a sibling,  because lets be real the main reason I am having another child is for him.  I want him to grow up having a sibling, because Siblings are the best!   The bond I have with my brother and sister is for life!


33 comments:

Liz said...

Beautiful picture! I'm going to put it out there and guess that it's another boy. For some reason, the most feminine ladies I know tend to have boys :) And as soon as that baby arrives, you will have no doubt that you can love one just the same as Sterling. Double the love and double the fun! xoxo

Katharine @ SouthernBourbonMountains said...

I feel like I will jinx myself if I say what I really want (if and when we have another) but I completely agree with the boy stuff! Let's just hope our boys marry girls that want to hang out with us! As for the girl stuff, you do have it down! I do not! Playing with dolls sounds like torture! I would rather build blocks! So excited for you both and if it is a girl I'm buying Sterling's entire wardrobe STAT. xoxoxoxoxox

Sadie + Stella said...

Y'all are so cute. No matter what you have the baby will be beautiful just like you!

Jill said...

When I was pregnant with my first I really didn't care the sex because I knew I would have more than 1 child. When I was pregnant with my second I was torn. I kind of wanted a girl because I was not sure if I would have a third but I also wanted a brother for my Matthew. Now with my third I KNEW i was done so I must admit I was hoping for a girl but just wanted a healthy baby. Don't worry you will love that child as much as ever and none of your feelings for sterling will change!!

Amy Florez said...

Awe so sweet!!! I actually thought I was having a boy for some reason. I would've bet money on it. Nope. Wrong. It was my sweet Ivey. I think it's a girl for you this time around! :)

E Hayes said...

I'm a few weeks behind you and feel the exact same way, ppl assume we want a boy bc we have a girl, but it's totally win win and we also just want a healthy baby. Also I drafted a post with my fear of my love for the second, even though I know my heart will grow, it's just so hard to imagine when all you know is this crazy love for one. I'll probably post it in a week or two, I just announced last week so I have a lot to catch up on!!

Chassity (Look Linger Love) said...

Siblings are the bomb diggity. Just wait until your babes start playing together, it's pretty much the best thing ever.

Katie said...

I can relate to this post so well. I also have a 3 year old boy and he is the light of my life and I was worried I wouldn't love my new baby (a girl) as much. Well, those feelings went out the window as soon as I saw my new baby girl. My life felt complete when she was born. Regardless of gender, you will feel that way too. And if anything, you will love Sterling even more (if that's possible)!

I have a feeling that you'll have a girl. Can't wait to hear....I hope you'll share the news! :)

Jordin- I Love That! said...

I feel the same way about my boy! I am pregnant now with my second boy and so happy! I was kinda scared thinking "if this baby is a girl...I don't know how to be a girl mom!" I was honestly nervous going to the appt when we found out and kind of relieved that is was another boy. I have all the boy stuff and I just know boys. I would have been super happy with a girl but so glad my little man will have a brother. My friends all have girls so they would say "Are you really upset it's not a girl?" They don't get it... boys are so sweet! Plus, more shopping budget for me:)

The Gibson Gang said...

You sound just like me. I thought for sure I was having a girl and when I found out I was having a boy, I was surprised. I come from all girls and didn't think I would know what to do with a little boy. After having Graham, I didn't care if I had all boys! When we got pregnant again, I felt the same way you did. Either way (with the sex) it was win/win situation. But I wondered/worried how in the world I could love another child as much. It's so hard to imagine, but you do. My guess is boy...but I'm always wrong, so you're probably having a girl. Funny thing is my son said from the start that we were having a "gurl" and he was right!

(Eileen) a creative day said...

If it is a boy sterling will be so close to him but I have a brother that is 2 years younger then me and we were BEST friends all growing up, still are! so either one they will have such a sweet bond :-)

Andrea {lifelovelarson} said...

I had a boy first, and thought the exact same thing. I couldn't go wrong either way-same sex siblings or one of each with the second...both a win-win. I was also one of those annoying people that didn't find out the sex with either child until they popped out!! :)

Alicia xoxxo said...

Great post! I always wonder the same ting too. If we have another baby , how could I possibly love the baby as much as I love Owen? Good to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I am so excited for you to find out what you are having! I pray that you have a healthy baby and an easy delivery! And yes, having siblings is the best. I love my sister and brother dearly.

Brooke said...

Love this - I was the same exact way with my first (grew up with all brothers, so wanted a boy, and thought for sure I was having one) it was such a shock when I found out I was having a girl, but now I wouldn't have it any other way ;)
xo

Lyndsey W said...

I just had my second (first is a boy, this one is a girl). I, too, wondered how I could ever love another as much! But it is crazy-the second you lay eyes on that precious baby, it's like your heart just grows. You feel like you love Sterling so much your heart will explode, but it just "stretches" and makes room for the 2nd! It is crazy. I am thinking a girl. It's so fun having one of each.

Lyndsey W said...

I just had my second (first is a boy, this one is a girl). I, too, wondered how I could ever love another as much! But it is crazy-the second you lay eyes on that precious baby, it's like your heart just grows. You feel like you love Sterling so much your heart will explode, but it just "stretches" and makes room for the 2nd! It is crazy. I am thinking a girl. It's so fun having one of each.

CCWatkinson said...

A mama's heart does MAGICAL things and the love for #2 not only opens your insane love for #1 even more but it makes extra special room for #2... I had no idea my heart could do that!! That was my biggest fear while preggo with #2... I wanted one of each and got another girl round two... I wouldn't change a thing... Except this nagging desire to go for a boy! ;) enjoy these sweet moments! You look gorgeous!

McKenzie said...

I had the exact same thoughts when I was pregnat with my second.. how will I love another as much as my first. My mom would always tell me that you love the second just as much as you cant help love the first one more. She was absolutely right. Seeing my first boy love on his baby brother is priceless and melts my heart! He LOVES his brother. They are 3 1/2 years apart. I know Sterling will be a great big brother to his sister or brother!

natasha {schue love} said...

Such an amazing post! I'll never forget when you told me that you always wanted a girl but now that you have a boy, you almost wish for another so Sterling has a brother to play with. Totally resonated with me b/c I think I had the same outlook about girls too. I can't wait to find out what Baby #2 is...and love that you have such a healthy outlook about it! XO

Jane {In the Pink and Green} said...

I absolutely loved that article in the NYTimes, it was so beautifully true--having siblings is such a blessing! I think you're totally right with your attitude, having two boys would be great but having one of each would be awesome too! Can't wait to find out! xoxo

Gaby [The Vault Files] said...

I couldn't agree more with your thoughts, and I feel the same way. If I had a second one I would be thrilled with either a boy or a girl. I'd feel that a boy would be a gift for Matthew, and a girl some sort of gift for me. But really, after having a boy, my thoughts have changed completely, love love love boys! ;)

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

You will love that baby just as much as Sterling. It's one of the miracles of being a mom - watching how much your heart can expand... Over and over again.

Kristin said...

I definitely think its a girl! We need more info though! Are you craving sweet and sour food like orange juice, sour patch kids and skittles? - I'm a chocolate addict but all I wanted while pregnant with my daughter was sour straws and orange sherbet. Also, have you done any of the so-called gender predictors? Would love to see you blog about all the indicators (high low, Chinese predictor, pencil and needle tests) before you find out what you are having. And Congrats! We're doing fertility treatment to get pregnant with our second and it were excited to hear you are pregnant.

Matters of Style said...

I totally echo all of your sentiments and felt the same way! I vote girl!!

Letra said...

I'm going to go ahead and guess you are expecting a girl! I hope you get to experience one of each at some point :)

I grew up with one older brother and LOVED it. But I also begged for a sister my entire life, so nothing better than giving Sterling a little bro!!

Xx,
Letra

Whitney Richardson said...

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Ashley said...

Love this!!

http://loveliveandbehappy.blogspot.com/

Val said...

I love the honesty and beauty in your posts. No matter what baby two will be AWESOME.

Leigh said...

I only have one child and my little man is a mama's boy through and through. I am so with you on everything you said. We want another baby and if/when God blesses us with one, I know we will get what we're supposed to have. I never wanted either sex more than the other so I wasn't shocked when I was told we were having a boy, but my husband was. He swore our little baby was gonna be a girl!

If sterling says its a boy, then I'm gonna guess you are having a boy. I have to go with the little man!

Aubrey {All Things Bright and Beautiful} said...

My first is my sweet little man and my second was my little princess...we were totally the same as you though, we would have been over the moon with either, just asking for healthy! I thought the same thing about a second child "how the heck could I love anything as much as I love him???", but don't worry, you will be pleasantly surprised, it's exactly the same feeling of overwhelming love the second you lay eyes on them...I think mamas' hearts just grow every time they have a child, they each have their own special place <3 And I'm not even going to hazard a guess because I was *convinced* I was having another boy with numero tres, and whaddyaknow, GIRL.

NaturalnTru said...

I totally agree with you about the same siblings! I'm an only child and I have four kids! I never wanted 4 but it happened! I have 2 girls & 2 boys! They each are 3 1/2 years apart and I can see how close they will be. My girls are 15 & 12 and the boys are 4 & 1. I too was wishing for a girl with my last baby even tho I already had 2 lol. Bc of the clothes, etc and my girls are older now. But then realized my little man needed a little brother too, someone he could shre his fondest times with and they truly are great together. Good luck and best wishes during yr pregnancy!

NaturalnTru said...

I totally agree with you about the same siblings! I'm an only child and I have four kids! I never wanted 4 but it happened! I have 2 girls & 2 boys! They each are 3 1/2 years apart and I can see how close they will be. My girls are 15 & 12 and the boys are 4 & 1. I too was wishing for a girl with my last baby even tho I already had 2 lol. Bc of the clothes, etc and my girls are older now. But then realized my little man needed a little brother too, someone he could shre his fondest times with and they truly are great together. Good luck and best wishes during yr pregnancy!

Lindsey said...

Wow...you basically took the thoughts I had in my head during my second pregnancy and expressed them so eloquently. My husband and I both wanted a girl when we were pregnant with our first, then along came the most wonderful little boy that I never knew I had wanted. Everything you said in your post is exactly how I felt. When I got pregnant again, I started thinking...I would actually love another boy, for the same reasons you note. Then...they told us in the ultrasound that it was going to be a girl, and I burst into tears...the happy kind. I probably would have cried if they told me it was a boy too...the hormones were on overdrive. Anyway, our daughter was born 6 months ago, and now I can't imagine her being a boy. It's amazing how that happens once they are born...you just can't imagine them being anyone else than who they are. And the only thing I really worried about when I was pregnant with number 2 was whether I would love her as much as I loved my son. I just couldn't grasp how I could, and it really concerned me...way more than how my son would react to a new baby. But once they put her in my arms, it was love at first sight. The only way I can express it is that rather than your love dividing, your heart doubles in size. It's the most amazing thing...so no need to worry about that! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. You look fab...of course!